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" Families, generally, suck. And I say that as someone who, like my husband, had parents who proved the proverbial exception to the rule. "
Julie Burchill
Someone
Like
Say
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" I've always thought of beauty therapy, 'alternative' treatments and the like as the female equivalent of brothels - for essentially self-deceiving people who feel a bit hollow and have to pay to be touched. "
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" Whenever I am sent a new book on the lively arts, the first thing I do is look for myself in the index. "
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" As I get older I think, contrary to modern assumption but in line with the old Lerner and Lowe song, that it would actually benefit both them and society if - to quote Professor Higgins - a woman could be more like a man. "
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" One Christmas build-up tradition, however, has totally bypassed me - that of going up to town and 'doing a show.' "
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" Big women do themselves a disservice when they attempt to become the Righteous Fat (the Righteous Thin are bad enough, all that running around and sweating, somehow believing it means anything). "
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" Shame, like beauty, is often in the eye of the beholder. "
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" I just have a real problem with people who seek to portray fatness or thinness as moral concepts. "
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" Show me a frigid women and, nine times out of ten, I'll show you a little man. "
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" I don't have a spiritual bone in my body; but what I am, is religious. "
Julie Burchill
Spiritual
Bone
I Am
" And call me a pig, but isn't it brilliantly refreshing how early the Dutch eat dinner? When they're still laying out the cutlery in achingly hip Barcelona, they're hanging the Closed sign on the restaurant doors of old Amsterdam. "
Julie Burchill
Early
Restaurant
Dinner
" But just think what a boring, bread-and-milk world this would be without the boastful. "
Julie Burchill
World
Without
Think
" People often yearn back to more innocent times, but more and more, as I get older, I find myself hankering after more jaded days. "
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People
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Back
" Can I just say here how much I hate the word 'pamper'? While pretending to celebrate and indulge women, it actually implies that their bodies are so revolting that even their 'me time' must be dedicated to turning them into living dolls if potential suitors are to be prevented from running screaming in horror. "
Julie Burchill
Time
Celebrate
Hate
" When a man wants to relax, he will slob out and really relax. Or he will pursue a hobby - anything from building models to watching sport. "
Julie Burchill
Relax
Building
Hobby
" It must be said that Brighton, unlike London, makes driving seem very appealing. Instead of glowering faces and angry horns on all sides, we have the coast road in front of us and the Sussex Downs just 10 minutes behind us. "
Julie Burchill
Said
Road
London
" It may be a cliche, but it's true - the build-up to Christmas is so much more pleasurable than the actual day itself. "
Julie Burchill
Much
True
Christmas
" The freedom that women were supposed to have found in the Sixties largely boiled down to easy contraception and abortion; things to make life easier for men, in fact. "
Julie Burchill
Abortion
Freedom
Women
" I have experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from men, but I have also experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from women, usually when I failed to respond to their advances. "
Julie Burchill
Violence
Women
Jealousy
" Gluttony and idleness are two of life's great joys, but they are not honourable. "
Julie Burchill
Two
Great
Gluttony
" A good part - and definitely the most fun part - of being a feminist is about frightening men. "
Julie Burchill
Feminist
Fun
Most
" My dad didn't drive - the only dad I knew who didn't. "
Julie Burchill
Who
Knew
Drive
" It's very hard to imagine the phrase 'consumer society' used so cheerfully, and interpreted so enthusiastically, in England. "
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Used
Imagine
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" I'll declare my own interest right here at the start and admit that, like the vast majority of people, I find youthful looks appealing. "
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Admit
Start
People
" Being a monarchist - saying that one small group is born more worthy of respect than another - is just as warped and strange as being a racist. "
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Saying
Small
Group
" What I find most upsetting about this new all-consuming beauty culture is that the obsession with good looks, and how you can supposedly attain them, is almost entirely female-driven. "
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Culture
" There are exciting, intelligent, fat people - and exciting, intelligent, thin people. "
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Intelligent
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People
" To believe that one, or even three, mates can supply all the things one needs from one's friends is as stupid as believing married couples must do everything together. "
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Together
" I wouldn't know how to fool a man any more. My deceiving days seem so long ago. "
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More
Days
Fool
" The money I pay for my cultural experiences came willingly from my own pocket - they were not the result of bread being removed from the mouths of the poor so that Miss Thing here could mince off to the circus smelling of roses. "
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Money
Result
Roses
" My second husband believed I had such a fickle attitude to friendship that each Friday he would update the list of my 'Top Ten' friends in the manner of a Top Of The Pops chart countdown. "
Julie Burchill
Attitude
Friendship
Friends