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" I don't trust anyone that hasn't been to jail at least once in their life. You should have been, or something's the matter with you. "

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" I never got along in school, really - I already knew what I wanted to do. I have never in my life got a paycheck from anywhere in the world that asked if I went to school. "

" My perfect day in Baltimore begins with getting my five newspapers. Then I would write. "

" I'd love to sell out completely. It's just that nobody has been willing to buy. "

" In any film business, if you're trying to get your next film made, you would never say, 'Oh, my last film was a cult film.' I'd say, 'Oh, great, well I hope this one isn't!' I always say to Johnny Knoxville, 'How do you do it? You sort of do the same thing we did, except you made millions, and I made hundreds.' "

" Everyone's sex life is funny except your own. Every person's is, and yours never is. "

" Putting out compilation records, buying the right to music is incredibly complicated. You have to find the writer of the song and the publisher of the song - not the singer - and make two separate deals. "

" New York was scarier than Baltimore ever was. It was terrible in the '70s. I'm glad they cleaned it up. I got mugged; I had to go to the hospital. Every time you went out, you got robbed. It was horrible. You can't imagine. "

" I've been arrested several times. I've been known to dress in ludicrous fashions. I've also built a career out of negative reviews. "

" The rudest possible gift is a gift card. It means you think the person is stupid and has no interests. The only good gift card is Bitcoin. You practically have to be a hacker to know about it. "

" In the beginning, my equipment, I would rent them from teamster-types, really. I don't know where they got the cameras - I think from the TV stations. But I don't know if they asked the TV stations. "

" At my age, you can go either fat or gaunt. I've gone gaunt. "

" Fellini was a little lofty for a teenage boy, but certainly he was a huge influence. "

" Always, European art cinema has been the most threatening and the grimmest and the most transgressive, I think. "

" I grew up in Baltimore, which is, you know, a city of extremes certainly, but my parents were very conservative. But they made me feel safe, and even though they were mortified at what I was doing, they encouraged it. I think because they thought, what else could I do? "

" Do I like how digital films look? Sometimes, but sometimes it looks flat, and ugly. "

" I like film books at the bottom of the barrel and art books at the top. 'The Ghastly One,' by Jimmy McDonough, is a hilarious biography of one of the most hideous directors who ever picked up a movie camera - Andy Milligan. "

" Isn't that the most perverse thing you've ever heard? "

" I was in the 'Alvin and the Chipmunk' movie, which was a real bucket list item. "

" I don't like reality TV. I don't want to look down on people. "

" I think I'm probably the only person that, when the parents lent me money to make the movie, they wished I had not paid them back. They could have said 'No,' and it would have ended, and I would have gotten a real job. "

" I read, every day, the 'Wall Street Journal''s editorials because I like to think how my smart enemy thinks. "

" I'd be a bad father. I'm too self-involved. "

" I wrote about Herschell in my book 'Shock Value,' for which I interviewed him. We became friends; I had dinner with Herschell the last year before he died. He was elderly, but his mind was perfectly intact. "

" My early films look terrible! I didn't know what I was doing. I learned when I was doing it. I never went to film school. "

" I always had a work ethic. And I think I very much got that from my father and my mother. "

" Everybody think they're an outsider - that word's over! When I was young, being an outsider, I thought it was a bad thing you didn't want to be. "

" I don't like rules of any kind. And I seek people who break rules with happiness - and not bringing pain to themselves. "

" I believe that both Obama and Trump would describe themselves as outsiders. "

" I have so many other things going on that if 'A Dirty Shame' is my last movie, that's OK. "

" The few movies I can even think of that I watch over and over would be the Elizabeth Taylor/Richard Burton movie 'Boom!', 'Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!', and 'Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.' I wouldn't call any of them mainstream. "