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" My perfect day in Baltimore begins with getting my five newspapers. Then I would write. "

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" I'd be arrested if I still smoked because I'm the one who would be changing the battery in the airplane in the lavatory to take out the smoke detector. I would've been those people they warn you against. "

" One Christmas, Dennis Dermody, the movie critic of 'Paper,' gave me 'Rock Hudson: A Gathering of Friends,' the master invitation list from Rock Hudson's memorial service. It's so great. Everyone's in it, with personal addresses all bound into a book. Someone else once gave me Ike Turner's will. I get great stuff. "

" I've been arrested several times. I've been known to dress in ludicrous fashions. I've also built a career out of negative reviews. "

" I don't trust anyone that hasn't been to jail at least once in their life. You should have been, or something's the matter with you. "

" I wanted to own a junk yard as a child, you know. I used to smash cars and think, 'Oh, my God, there's been an accident.' My mother would take me to junk yards, and I look back on that and I think, 'Wow, that was really loving.' "

" I was creating characters early. People didn't beat me up. I scared them. I hated authority. I could also get people to do things; I was quite the early director. I could make people laugh enough to get their defences down - and then brainwash them. "

" My early films look terrible! I didn't know what I was doing. I learned when I was doing it. I never went to film school. "

" My mother's brother became the undersecretary of the interior for Nixon, which did cause a little drama in my family because I was going to riots and everything, but he turned out great and gave us a nice cheque for an AIDS benefit we had for the 'Serial Mom' premiere. "

" If I'm seeing a three-hour foreign film, I don't want to watch it in a bed. "

" Everybody think they're an outsider - that word's over! When I was young, being an outsider, I thought it was a bad thing you didn't want to be. "

" I wish something on T.V. would trouble me. Then maybe I would watch it. "

" You have to think of a new way to make something new. And the biggest sin - you can never try too hard. You can never look like you're just trying to shock people, 'cause that's simple. But making people laugh is the hard part. "

" Liberal censors are the worst. I don't remember any trouble with 'Serial Mom' or 'Cecil B. Demented' or any of them. Except 'Cry Baby.' "

" I was in the 'Alvin and the Chipmunk' movie, which was a real bucket list item. "

" My 40th birthday I held in an old-age home. My 50th I had at Pravda before it opened in New York. My 60th I had at Pastis. For my 70th, I thought, 'I don't need to have a celebrity party this year. I'm going to go take my oldest, closest friends to Paris.' "

" The rudest possible gift is a gift card. It means you think the person is stupid and has no interests. The only good gift card is Bitcoin. You practically have to be a hacker to know about it. "

" I remember when I first went to the Baltimore Museum of Art and I bought this little Moreau print in the gift shop. I took it home, and I was, like, 12 years old or something. "

" A hair-hopper is someone who pretends they're rich, who really wasn't brought up very wealthy but now tries to brag that they're rich, and they spend too much time on their hair. "

" I believe that both Obama and Trump would describe themselves as outsiders. "

" I had a stage when I was 12 years old. I had a puppet show career. I wrote horror stories in camp, and all the parents called and complained. "

" I don't like rules of any kind. And I seek people who break rules with happiness - and not bringing pain to themselves. "

" If you're a juvenile delinquent today, you're a hacker. You live in your parent's house; they haven't seen you for two months. They put food outside your door, and you're shutting down a government of a foreign country from your computer. "

" I like film books at the bottom of the barrel and art books at the top. 'The Ghastly One,' by Jimmy McDonough, is a hilarious biography of one of the most hideous directors who ever picked up a movie camera - Andy Milligan. "

" I like the elitism of the art world. I think art for the people is a terrible idea. "

" At my age, you can go either fat or gaunt. I've gone gaunt. "

" Science fiction is something I never understood. "

Science Fiction

" There are schools for weird children now. There wasn't when I was young. "

" I didn't follow anybody's advice, really. "

" I like art. It's another way to rebel. "

" I've taught in prison; I've counseled people... I've been arrested; I've been to the psychiatrist. "