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" I never got along in school, really - I already knew what I wanted to do. I have never in my life got a paycheck from anywhere in the world that asked if I went to school. "

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" Grade school ruined reading for me by demanding book reports for such snore-a-thons as Benjamin Franklin's biography written for children. "

John Waters

Children

Book

Reading

" Underground, raw movies that come out of nowhere and change everything - they aren't slick-looking. But I have nothing against slick-looking as long as the scripts are funny. "

" If I made a film today, it would certainly be on digital. "

" By wrecking something, it's always reinventing. All modern movements in art and music wrecked what came before, in a way - and surprised the cooler generation that was one step ahead. That's how you get ahead. "

" Bergman movies were the most influential. They used to show at Goucher University, which was where my parents used to live. 'Brink of Life' was the first one I ever saw. Three pregnant women in a maternity ward and their misery - I love that. That is what I want to show at my funeral. "

" In any film business, if you're trying to get your next film made, you would never say, 'Oh, my last film was a cult film.' I'd say, 'Oh, great, well I hope this one isn't!' I always say to Johnny Knoxville, 'How do you do it? You sort of do the same thing we did, except you made millions, and I made hundreds.' "

" There are schools for weird children now. There wasn't when I was young. "

" Always, European art cinema has been the most threatening and the grimmest and the most transgressive, I think. "

" I don't like rules of any kind. And I seek people who break rules with happiness - and not bringing pain to themselves. "

" I went through different looks. At one period, I was preppy because that's how I grew up. But then I had bleached hair in the front. And I used to wear - then I wanted to be a beatnik. It was hard to be a beatnik in suburban Baltimore. But I wanted to be one. "

" I don't like reality TV. I don't want to look down on people. "

" I like the elitism of the art world. I think art for the people is a terrible idea. "

" 'Blood Feast' is my favorite of Lewis' films. When we shot 'Serial Mom,' and I showed them the infamous tongue scene, one of the female crew members said, 'I hate when a guy does that.' "

" New York was scarier than Baltimore ever was. It was terrible in the '70s. I'm glad they cleaned it up. I got mugged; I had to go to the hospital. Every time you went out, you got robbed. It was horrible. You can't imagine. "

John Waters

Hospital

You

" I want to be commercial. I'm never the person who says, 'I don't care if people don't see my movies.' I always want people to see my movies. "

" I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. "

" I think it would be fun to die onstage! Just drop dead in the middle of my show? That wouldn't be so bad. "

" Everyone's sex life is funny except your own. Every person's is, and yours never is. "

" Life is a rotten lottery. I've had a pretty amazing life, a good life, and God knows I'm thankful, but I do believe that after 30, stop whining! Everybody's dealt a hand, and it's not fair what you get. But you've got to deal with it. "

" I want to be in a 'Final Destination' movie. "

" They all want you to make a movie for under a million dollars, which I don't want to. I don't want to be a faux radical film-maker at 70. I did that. I don't need to do it again. "

" I'm thrilled to have a completely new audience that I can get from Court TV, without it being my own trial. That was the only other way I would have gotten it. "

" I grew up in Baltimore, which is, you know, a city of extremes certainly, but my parents were very conservative. But they made me feel safe, and even though they were mortified at what I was doing, they encouraged it. I think because they thought, what else could I do? "

John Waters

Parents

Think

" I wish something on T.V. would trouble me. Then maybe I would watch it. "

John Waters

I Wish

Maybe

" When I first saw 'House on Haunted Hill' as a kid in Baltimore, and the skeleton went out on the wire, and the thousand kids in the audience went crazy... My whole life, I've tried to at least equal that cinema anarchy. I came close with the end of 'Pink Flamingos,' but I didn't tie with it. "

" Always be prepared if someone asks you what you want for Christmas. Give brand names, the store that sells the merchandise, and, if possible, exact model numbers so they can't go wrong. Be the type who's impossible to buy for, so they have to get what you want. "

" I have so many other things going on that if 'A Dirty Shame' is my last movie, that's OK. "

" My biggest fear in life is living Nativity scenes. I hide in cars and drive around looking at them. Something about it is really scary to me. What parent would put their child in there with mules and camels and straw? "

" I used to hitchhike a lot. I'd come home on the train from New York, and there'd be no cabs, but people would pick me right up and take me to my door because they recognised me. It was like a car service. I never really had a bad experience hitchhiking. "

" Putting out compilation records, buying the right to music is incredibly complicated. You have to find the writer of the song and the publisher of the song - not the singer - and make two separate deals. "