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" I don't want to sound like Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells, but I do think there should be some sort of national service for young men. "
Michael Caine
Think
Men
Service
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" I prefer to remake flops. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was a remake of a flop, and The Quiet American is a remake of a flop. "
Michael Caine
Dirty
Quiet
Remake
" Oh, what a shock. My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award. "
Michael Caine
Time
Award
Career
" I never bring a role home with me. The moment they say, 'It's a wrap,' it's gone completely. I'm a totally ruthless professional, and life is my family, not my work. "
Michael Caine
Home
Me
Life
" I don't think you retire from movies; movies retire you. "
Michael Caine
You
Think
Retire
" Anyone can write. But comedy, you've got to do some writing. You get one comedy script to every 20 dramas. "
Michael Caine
Got
Comedy
Some
" My wife, my daughters, even my grandchildren are funny. You've got to keep a sense of humor because anger destroys you. "
Michael Caine
Funny
Wife
Humor
" I feel like 35. At 35 you're old enough to know something and young enough to look forward to what you can do with the knowledge. So I stayed at 35! "
Michael Caine
Look
Knowledge
Know
" In the sixties, everyone you knew became famous. My flatmate was Terence Stamp. My barber was Vidal Sassoon. David Hockney did the menu in a restaurant I went to. I didn't know anyone unknown who didn't become famous. "
Michael Caine
You
Unknown
Restaurant
" At 69, I got the girl! And it wasn't a 68-year-old girl, either. "
Michael Caine
Either
Girl
Got
" My closest friends are Roger Moore, who is an actor, Sean Connery, who is an actor, Terry O'Neill, who is a photographer, Johnny Gold, who was the boss of Tramp, and Leslie Bricusse, who is a composer. "
Michael Caine
Gold
Friends
Boss
" If you go away on location for three months and your wife stays at home, you've made a whole new load of friends and she's made a whole new load of friends and you get home and you're kind of strangers. "
Michael Caine
You
Friends
Home
" In my early days, I didn't know what a good film or a bad film was, and I was trying to make some money. As it happens I was lucky. I made some good films. "
Michael Caine
Early
Money
Trying
" I just love to go home, no matter where I am, the most luxurious hotel suite in the world, I love to go home. "
Michael Caine
World
Home
Hotel
" For all my education, accomplishments, and so called 'wisdom'... I can't fathom my own heart. "
Michael Caine
Wisdom
Heart
My Own
" Hollywood is a cross between a health farm, a recreation center and an insane asylum. It's a company town, and I happen to like the company! "
Michael Caine
Hollywood
Health
Farm
" When you're a movie star and you're young, you are always playing someone who's a better fighter, a better lover, a better everything than you. "
Michael Caine
Better
Young
You
" Books were my window on the world. Growing up at the Elephant and Castle, which was very rough, my paradise was the library. "
Michael Caine
Up
Growing Up
Window
" I'll always be there because I'm a skilled professional actor. Whether or not I've any talent is beside the point. "
Michael Caine
Always
Any
Talent
" Wherever I live, if there isn't a restaurant I want to go to of a certain type, then I open it. That's all. For selfish reasons. "
Michael Caine
Open
Live
Want
" I am often asked which of my films has come closest to my own ideal of performance, and I always answer, 'Educating Rita.' "
Michael Caine
I Am
Performance
Own
" My problem was that I was blond. There were no heroes with blond hair. Robert Taylor and Henry Fonda, they all had dark hair. The only one I found was Van Johnson, who wasn't too cool. He was a nice, homely American boy. So I created my own image. It worked. "
Michael Caine
Nice
Boy
American
" I'm every bourgeois nightmare - a Cockney with intelligence and a million dollars. "
Michael Caine
Million Dollars
Nightmare
Intelligence
" The absent are never without fault. Nor the present without excuse. "
Michael Caine
Present
Nor
Never
" I've always loved reprehensible people because they're so much more interesting to play on screen. "
Michael Caine
Interesting
Loved
People
" I'm forever testing myself. As a person and as an actor, I have no sense of competition. "
Michael Caine
Person
Myself
Competition
" The difference between a movie star and a movie actor is this - a movie star will say, 'How can I change the script to suit me?' and a movie actor will say. 'How can I change me to suit the script?' "
Michael Caine
Difference
Will
Change
" I don't do it often, but I do cry. I also laugh a lot; people tell me I'm funny and I do like to laugh. "
Michael Caine
Tell
Me
Cry
" Things are not quite what they seem always. Don't start me on class, otherwise you'll get a four-hour lecture. "
Michael Caine
Always
Things
Start
" I was born Maurice Joseph Micklewhite. Imagine signing that autograph! You'd get a broken arm. So I changed my name to Michael Caine after Humphrey Bogart's 'The Caine Mutiny,' which was playing in the theater across from the telephone booth where I learned that I'd gotten my first TV job. "
Michael Caine
Job
Name
Telephone
" I admired Marlon Brando as I grew up. I though he was one of the finest screen actors around. "
Michael Caine
He
Finest
Around