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" The absent are never without fault. Nor the present without excuse. "
Michael Caine
Present
Nor
Never
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" I don't want to sound like Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells, but I do think there should be some sort of national service for young men. "
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" I felt a tremendous sadness for men who can't deal with a woman of their own age. "
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Men
Age
Woman
" My view of actors is that basically they're all harmless lunatics who'd be on the psychiatrist's couch, except that we get this sort of catharsis every six months or so, and we go and be absolutely someone else. "
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Someone
Psychiatrist
Go
" Alfie was the first time I was above the title; the first time I became a star in America. "
Michael Caine
First
America
Time
" Anyone can write. But comedy, you've got to do some writing. You get one comedy script to every 20 dramas. "
Michael Caine
Got
Comedy
Some
" I learned about life before I went into the theater, which is why I've been so happy. I was a soldier. "
Michael Caine
Soldier
Happy
Life
" I was born Maurice Joseph Micklewhite. Imagine signing that autograph! You'd get a broken arm. So I changed my name to Michael Caine after Humphrey Bogart's 'The Caine Mutiny,' which was playing in the theater across from the telephone booth where I learned that I'd gotten my first TV job. "
Michael Caine
Job
Name
Telephone
" You have to remember, I never became successful or wealthy till I was 30. "
Michael Caine
Never
Remember
Successful
" To me, growing old is great. It's the very best thing - considering the alternative. "
Michael Caine
Great
Growing
Best
" The American cinema in general always made stories about working-class people; the British rarely did. Any person with my working-class background would be a villain or a comic cipher, usually badly played, and with a rotten accent. There weren't a lot of guys in England for me to look up to. "
Michael Caine
Villain
American
Me
" I'm every bourgeois nightmare - a Cockney with intelligence and a million dollars. "
Michael Caine
Million Dollars
Nightmare
Intelligence
" I come from the slums; I come from a hard background; I come from a poor family; and I was a soldier. "
Michael Caine
Soldier
Poor
Background
" English is clipped in speech. Texas is exactly the opposite. "
Michael Caine
Texas
English
Opposite
" Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons. "
Michael Caine
You
Silly
Things Happen
" I'm always slightly envious of people who become extremely rich without anyone knowing who the hell they are, like financiers. "
Michael Caine
Who
Always
Rich
" One of the main things about Cockney is, you speak at twice the speed as Americans. Americans speak very slow. "
Michael Caine
Speak
Slow
Speed
" In the sixties, everyone you knew became famous. My flatmate was Terence Stamp. My barber was Vidal Sassoon. David Hockney did the menu in a restaurant I went to. I didn't know anyone unknown who didn't become famous. "
Michael Caine
You
Unknown
Restaurant
" I won an Academy Award for 'The Cider House Rules,' playing an American. "
Michael Caine
House
Award
American
" When I'm doing an accent, you shouldn't notice it for a while, if I'm doing it right. "
Michael Caine
While
You
Doing
" The difference between a movie star and a movie actor is this - a movie star will say, 'How can I change the script to suit me?' and a movie actor will say. 'How can I change me to suit the script?' "
Michael Caine
Difference
Will
Change
" I just love to go home, no matter where I am, the most luxurious hotel suite in the world, I love to go home. "
Michael Caine
World
Home
Hotel
" There's quite a lot of bad stuff written about me. My wife even says a lot of bad stuff about me. But she is wonderful. "
Michael Caine
Stuff
Wife
Wonderful
" I am a great admirer of other actors, but I never compete with other actors. I always compete with what I did last, and I'm my own most vicious critic. So I'm always trying to do it better. "
Michael Caine
Better
Great
I Am
" If you're a movie actor, you're on your own - you cannot control the stage. The director controls it. "
Michael Caine
Own
Director
Control
" If you think you're going to be up for an Oscar, you schedule your moviemaking. "
Michael Caine
You
Your
Up
" If you're a movie star, you get the girl, you lose the girl, and then you get her back. But if you're a character like me, you lose the girl, then you get another one, then you get another one, then you lose them all, then you lose your life. "
Michael Caine
Character
Me
You
" Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell. "
Michael Caine
Job
Live
Business
" Am I a car aficionado? No: for me, cars have always been just for transport. I didn't even know anyone who had a car until I was 14 or 15. "
Michael Caine
Always
Me
Transport
" I'm forever testing myself. As a person and as an actor, I have no sense of competition. "
Michael Caine
Person
Myself
Competition
" I started with the firm conviction that when I came to the end, I wanted to be regretting the things that I had done, not the things I hadn't. "
Michael Caine
Done
Things
Started