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" I got up one Christmas morning and we didn't have nothing to eat. We didn't have an apple, we didn't have an orange, we didn't have a cake, we didn't have nothing. "

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" Like the Earth, the Web is a less appealing place than it used to be. If I want attitude and arguing and meanness and profanity and wrong information screamed at me as gospel, I'll get in a time machine and spend Christmas with my family in 1977. "

J. R. Moehringer

Time

Family

" Like my dad, I have a Christmas party most years. I like to celebrate and see as many people as possible. "

" When I was really young, I loved the movie 'White Christmas' - I still do - and I thought Rosemary Clooney was so pretty. When I was, like, nine, I would tell people, 'You know who I kind of look like? Rosemary Clooney.' "

" Christmas makes everything twice as sad. "

" At Christmas our house is like a Donnie and Marie Christmas Special. "

Kevin Richardson

Christmas

House

" We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas.' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau.' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special. "

" When I was a child in England before the war, Christmas pudding always contained at least one shiny new sixpence, and it was considered a sign of great good luck for the new year to find one in your helping of the pudding. "

" Christians get trees. Jews get bushes. To stay in good standing with the Tribe, you've got to refer to a Christmas tree as a Hanukkah bush. "

" I love singing Christmas carols. I know every harmony to every music-hall Christmas song. "

" I have a love/hate relationship with Amy Grant, but I do go back to her Christmas albums once in a while. They're dated and sentimental and the production is nearly unlistenable, but there's something about her vocal performance that just feels really true. I would take her Christmas albums over Mariah Carey's or Destiny's Child's any day. "

" We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas. "

" It's not exactly calm at Christmas. It's a bit like the Simpsons appearing in a pasta advert - lots of bickering, crazy pets, and plenty of tomato sauce! "

" Nothing is as peaceful as when Christmas is over, when one has been forgiven for everything and can be normal again. "

" I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas. "

" The Christmas story has such power and such appeal every year. There are other stories we get tired of. You think of your favorite movie; you don't want to watch it 15 times. "

Frederica Mathewes-Green

Think

Story

Power

" I got this Christmas gift with the entire Beatles catalog. I had fun trying to duplicate what I was hearing on these records, only using the instruments I had at hand - an acoustic guitar, and that's all. It was endlessly amusing to me to try to imitate John Lennon and Paul McCartney's harmonies using the guitar. "

M. Ward

Trying

Fun

" The sharpest memory of our old-fashioned Christmas eve is my mother's hand making sure I was settled in bed. "

" I grew up as a photo nut. Every Christmas I would get a new camera. It's a huge part of my life. "

" I love the excess of Christmas. The shopping season that begins in September, the bad pop star recordings of Christmas carols, the decorations that don't know when to come down. "

" The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. "

" Every day is like Halloween or Christmas eve for me. I go to bed, and I'm so excited to get back to work. I'm very lucky that I have a career like that 'cause not many people do. "

Adam Green

Work

Day

" What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. "

" There's never really been a real hood Christmas movie. "

" The best thing about doing those Hallmark movies is my dad loves them. My dad watches all of those Christmas movies, not just ones I'm in. He watches them all, so the first one I did, it was like my Christmas present to my dad. "

" The real reason Jews don't have more Hanukkah music is that, historically, American Jewish singer-songwriters were too busy making Christmas music. 'White Christmas,' 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,' 'Silver Bells' and 'The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting)' were all written by Jews. "

" I don't like most Christmas movies. They're pretty bad, though they seem to make tons of money anyway. Like this movie 'Elf,' I got the script for that, and I turned it down right away. Against my wife's better judgment. "

" There's something about a Christmas sweater that will always make me laugh. "

" Christmas morning, I'm going to open presents with my kids. I'm going to take pictures of them opening the presents. Then I'm going to come to the Staples Center and get ready to work. "

" Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip. "

" It's quite a famous story that takes place on Christmas Eve, and the Germans, French, and Scottish are trying to make peace one night and they bury their dead and they play football. I play a German opera singer, in German, which I never have so I am really excited about that. "