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All Quotes by author - Mo Rocca
" A young imagination is bold, likes to make bigger leaps. It likes to, well, imagine that the dustbuster is a dinosaur; that the computer mouse is a hotrod; that the box is a cave; that the rawhide is a torch... or a baton... or something. "
Dinosaur
Bold
Cave
" Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness. "
Stocking
Goodness
Christmas
" Did I end up finding a little blue pill to cure America's electoral dysfunction? Unfortunately, it's not that simple. "
Up
Finding
End
" Digital television, satellite radio, videogames, iPods - so much media. Do books even matter anymore? "
Media
Matter
Television
" Generally I get up at around 7. But oftentimes, I'll be lolling in bed a little bit earlier - sometimes as early as 5:45 - filing in my mind all the things I have to get done. Which is, of course, totally unproductive. "
Done
Bed
Mind
" Homemade sweaters are always itchy. "
Itchy
Homemade
Always
" Honestly we never lied to people about who we were. Usually the wackier interviews came to pass because the interview subjects, aware that we were Comedy Central, just wanted to get their stories out. "
Comedy
Never
People
" Hypocrisy is great fodder for comedy. "
Great
Comedy
Hypocrisy
" I am a kamikaze gadfly. "
I Am
Am
" I bruise like a grape. "
Grape
Bruise
Like
" I can't be everything to everyone. Send me your specs. "
Send
Everything
Everyone
" I don't think everyone should vote. If you have to be dragged into the polls, carried into the polls and smelling salts have to be used, you probably shouldn't be voting. However, we shouldn't be putting up barriers to voting that target certain groups. "
Target
Think
You
" I'd rather call myself a mischief-maker, an imp, rather than a satirist. Satirist sounds so self important. Plus no one is calling himself an imp right now. It makes me feel special. "
Myself
Self
Me
" If I had a time machine I would go back 30 years and show up at my grandmother's apartment before the gargantuan meals she would serve and I would help her. "
Help
Back
Her
" If there's one thing that everyone can agree on, it's that, right or wrong, they hate the press. "
Hate
Right
Agree
" I hate homemade sweaters. "
Hate
Sweaters
Homemade
" I have a Keurig coffee maker, which is really kind of a luxury. It was given to me by an ex. I realized when I'm feeling sentimental, I'll gently, tenderly press the button. Then when I remember he dumped me, I punch it. "
Coffee
Luxury
Feeling
" I know a lot about a few things - mostly useless things. "
Things
Useless
Few
" I love Christmas. Frosty the Snowman, peace on Earth and mangers, Salvation Army bell ringers and reindeer, the movie 'Meet Me in St. Louis,' office parties and cookies. "
Me
Peace
Army
" I love the excess of Christmas. The shopping season that begins in September, the bad pop star recordings of Christmas carols, the decorations that don't know when to come down. "
Know
Christmas
Love
" I'm always working on a few different stories at once, so there's always some really big coffee table book I'm carrying around. "
Book
Coffee
Table
" I mean, you're gonna be left behind if you don't appreciate the genius that is Meredith Vieira. "
Behind
Mean
Appreciate
" I'm in fact a hair under six feet, but I'm very svelte. People would never see me if I turned sideways. "
Me
Hair
Feet
" I still don't know how to cook and that's just unacceptable. "
Know
Still
How
" I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way. "
Kind
Cool
Funny
" It's interesting, because I tend to trust a man with big ears. "
Man
Big
Because
" It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict. "
Sensitive
Jokes
Conflict
" It's one of my favorite things to do, watch TV and stretch. I'm so flexible. I can put my legs behind my head. I want to be the most flexible person in the world. "
Want
Watch
World
" I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked. "
School
Know
High
" I was way too hyperactive to study for long. I would freak out, then crash, then be too tired to read or write. I really should have had less sugar. "
Study
Tired
Way
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