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All Quotes by author - Mo Rocca
" A young imagination is bold, likes to make bigger leaps. It likes to, well, imagine that the dustbuster is a dinosaur; that the computer mouse is a hotrod; that the box is a cave; that the rawhide is a torch... or a baton... or something. "
" Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness. "
" Did I end up finding a little blue pill to cure America's electoral dysfunction? Unfortunately, it's not that simple. "
" Digital television, satellite radio, videogames, iPods - so much media. Do books even matter anymore? "
" Generally I get up at around 7. But oftentimes, I'll be lolling in bed a little bit earlier - sometimes as early as 5:45 - filing in my mind all the things I have to get done. Which is, of course, totally unproductive. "
" Homemade sweaters are always itchy. "
" Honestly we never lied to people about who we were. Usually the wackier interviews came to pass because the interview subjects, aware that we were Comedy Central, just wanted to get their stories out. "
" Hypocrisy is great fodder for comedy. "
" I am a kamikaze gadfly. "
" I bruise like a grape. "
" I can't be everything to everyone. Send me your specs. "
" I don't think everyone should vote. If you have to be dragged into the polls, carried into the polls and smelling salts have to be used, you probably shouldn't be voting. However, we shouldn't be putting up barriers to voting that target certain groups. "
" I'd rather call myself a mischief-maker, an imp, rather than a satirist. Satirist sounds so self important. Plus no one is calling himself an imp right now. It makes me feel special. "
" If I had a time machine I would go back 30 years and show up at my grandmother's apartment before the gargantuan meals she would serve and I would help her. "
" If there's one thing that everyone can agree on, it's that, right or wrong, they hate the press. "
" I hate homemade sweaters. "
" I have a Keurig coffee maker, which is really kind of a luxury. It was given to me by an ex. I realized when I'm feeling sentimental, I'll gently, tenderly press the button. Then when I remember he dumped me, I punch it. "
" I know a lot about a few things - mostly useless things. "
" I love Christmas. Frosty the Snowman, peace on Earth and mangers, Salvation Army bell ringers and reindeer, the movie 'Meet Me in St. Louis,' office parties and cookies. "
" I love the excess of Christmas. The shopping season that begins in September, the bad pop star recordings of Christmas carols, the decorations that don't know when to come down. "
" I'm always working on a few different stories at once, so there's always some really big coffee table book I'm carrying around. "
" I mean, you're gonna be left behind if you don't appreciate the genius that is Meredith Vieira. "
" I'm in fact a hair under six feet, but I'm very svelte. People would never see me if I turned sideways. "
" I still don't know how to cook and that's just unacceptable. "
" I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way. "
" It's interesting, because I tend to trust a man with big ears. "
" It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict. "
" It's one of my favorite things to do, watch TV and stretch. I'm so flexible. I can put my legs behind my head. I want to be the most flexible person in the world. "
" I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked. "
" I was way too hyperactive to study for long. I would freak out, then crash, then be too tired to read or write. I really should have had less sugar. "
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