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" I had dreams of becoming an officer and a gentleman. But hey: One out of two ain't bad. "

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" I have a radio show/podcast called 'The Cryptid Factor,' which is about the search for creatures that may or may not exist. "

" I loved the army, but it didn't really love me. I used to get into trouble because I thought outside the square. "

" I had been laughed at my whole life through school, and I never really thought of it as a vocation. I mean, I started off as a soldier, and then I went into the university thinking I was going to be a journalist, but comedy kind of fell on my head and demanded I pursue it. "

" As a man, you think, 'Hey, man, I want to be like Bond or Tintin.' "

" Artists that are perfectionists? We find it hard sometimes to be happy a lot. "

" When I was a kid, I thought I saw a ghost in the forest when I was on a bush walk, like a walk through the forest. I saw something weird pass from one side of the track to the other, and it was sort of a white, blurry... it's hard to describe, really - something that was almost see-through, but it just moved in front of me. "

" After 3 years, I left the army at the ripe old age of 20, but I'd like to think some of the skills are still with me. I'm great at physical movement; I can still remember Morse code, and perhaps most importantly, I can fold my socks up into little balls with smiley faces. "

" Timing is a very important part of being a father. You should never show your kids things before they're ready. Especially with movies. Toys like Lego are okay because the fact that your 3-year-old can't understand the instructions ultimately leads you to constructing it yourself... the secret plan all along. "

" I don't think you can beat a costumed monster. It's brilliant. I'll take that over CGI any day. "

" I love airports because funny things always happen at them. They're giant complexes full of urgency, seriousness, and confusion. Where am I supposed to be? Which way do I go? And that's just the staff. "

" Halloween is bigger than Christmas in America. I've experienced it in New York, Los Angeles and Washington D.C., and if you're in the right neighbourhood, every house is decorated with spooky ghosts, spider webs, and jack-o-lanterns. "

" Whether it be climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or dealing with your children, life is an adventure, and it's how you perceive it. "

" For anyone who's a fan of the 'X-files' show - I mean, I have the ultimate role. I got to deal with Mulder. I got to talk to him; I had a fight sequence with him. Really, for anyone who is a fan of the show, I think I fulfilled a lot of young boys' dreams. "

" I can't stand going to those sandwich bars where you've got to choose your own stuff, because I don't know what goes together. It does my head in. I'd rather them tell me. I'm not the expert. I haven't spent years learning these different combinations. "

" I believe that there are definitely creatures out there in this world that we haven't classified yet, and whether or not they can transcend dimensions is yet to be seen, but I... well, to put it simply, I want to believe in that kind of stuff. "

" My favorite crypted is definitely Yeti because it's once removed. It's not as popular as Bigfoot or Sasquatch, but it's more exciting. Yetis are of Tibetan origin, China or so, around Russia. They're more of a snow-based giant hominid. Apes living up in the snow? That doesn't make any sense! Well! People have seen them. "

" I think I'm probably a monster-of-the-week guy, and that comes back down to my old favorite show, which as a kid was always 'Scooby-Doo.' "

" I'm used to sort of improvising a lot when I do my comedies. "

" Being a perfectionist is really difficult. You're never really happy with what you're doing, no matter how good it is. When you can just release that pressure and be in someone else's work and still have the respect of those creators to bounce off the page and give your ideas that they can take or leave? I really enjoy that. "

" Science and technology are the keys to both our longevity and our demise. Our entire existence on this planet is a double-edged sword. "

" We live in a digital world where all is available at the touch of a screen. Money has been simplified, changed subtly over time from tangible bills to numbers in cyberspace. Cash is no longer in a cloth bag; it's numbers on a screen. Numbers that can be manipulated and modified. If you run out of numbers, you can just buy some more, right? "

" I've had a couple of ghost experiences, but I'm not a big fan of the spiritual side of things, of the ghost type thing. I don't know why; maybe it freaks me out a bit, or I'm more into tangible, physical beings rather than things that can pass through walls. "

" My youngest son has a very clear idea of what he wants to be when he grows up: he wants to be Indiana Jones, Batman and Jack Sparrow. Yes, all three at the same time. So he basically wants to be an archaeologist who wears tights and fights crimes on pirate ships. That's pretty cool, huh? "

" When I do the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, I always go across to Loch Ness and stay there. "