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" I loved the army, but it didn't really love me. I used to get into trouble because I thought outside the square. "

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" I had dreams of becoming an officer and a gentleman. But hey: One out of two ain't bad. "

" When I do the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, I always go across to Loch Ness and stay there. "

" As a man, you think, 'Hey, man, I want to be like Bond or Tintin.' "

" I can't stand going to those sandwich bars where you've got to choose your own stuff, because I don't know what goes together. It does my head in. I'd rather them tell me. I'm not the expert. I haven't spent years learning these different combinations. "

" Science and technology are the keys to both our longevity and our demise. Our entire existence on this planet is a double-edged sword. "

" I love airports because funny things always happen at them. They're giant complexes full of urgency, seriousness, and confusion. Where am I supposed to be? Which way do I go? And that's just the staff. "

" Remember the Y2K bug? Ahhh, those were the days... I'll never forget that New Year's Eve. My wife and I were in Golden Bay dancing with her parents to Abba songs when suddenly, the rain began to fall. I took it as a sign from Mother Nature that everything was gonna be okay. Sure enough, the clock struck 12, and life went on as normal. "

" Halloween is bigger than Christmas in America. I've experienced it in New York, Los Angeles and Washington D.C., and if you're in the right neighbourhood, every house is decorated with spooky ghosts, spider webs, and jack-o-lanterns. "

" Whether it be climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or dealing with your children, life is an adventure, and it's how you perceive it. "

" Timing is a very important part of being a father. You should never show your kids things before they're ready. Especially with movies. Toys like Lego are okay because the fact that your 3-year-old can't understand the instructions ultimately leads you to constructing it yourself... the secret plan all along. "

" I've had a couple of ghost experiences, but I'm not a big fan of the spiritual side of things, of the ghost type thing. I don't know why; maybe it freaks me out a bit, or I'm more into tangible, physical beings rather than things that can pass through walls. "

" I think I'm probably a monster-of-the-week guy, and that comes back down to my old favorite show, which as a kid was always 'Scooby-Doo.' "

" I believe that there are definitely creatures out there in this world that we haven't classified yet, and whether or not they can transcend dimensions is yet to be seen, but I... well, to put it simply, I want to believe in that kind of stuff. "

" My youngest son has a very clear idea of what he wants to be when he grows up: he wants to be Indiana Jones, Batman and Jack Sparrow. Yes, all three at the same time. So he basically wants to be an archaeologist who wears tights and fights crimes on pirate ships. That's pretty cool, huh? "

" For anyone who's a fan of the 'X-files' show - I mean, I have the ultimate role. I got to deal with Mulder. I got to talk to him; I had a fight sequence with him. Really, for anyone who is a fan of the show, I think I fulfilled a lot of young boys' dreams. "

" My favorite crypted is definitely Yeti because it's once removed. It's not as popular as Bigfoot or Sasquatch, but it's more exciting. Yetis are of Tibetan origin, China or so, around Russia. They're more of a snow-based giant hominid. Apes living up in the snow? That doesn't make any sense! Well! People have seen them. "

" I don't think you can beat a costumed monster. It's brilliant. I'll take that over CGI any day. "

" After 3 years, I left the army at the ripe old age of 20, but I'd like to think some of the skills are still with me. I'm great at physical movement; I can still remember Morse code, and perhaps most importantly, I can fold my socks up into little balls with smiley faces. "

" When I was a kid, I thought I saw a ghost in the forest when I was on a bush walk, like a walk through the forest. I saw something weird pass from one side of the track to the other, and it was sort of a white, blurry... it's hard to describe, really - something that was almost see-through, but it just moved in front of me. "

" I have a radio show/podcast called 'The Cryptid Factor,' which is about the search for creatures that may or may not exist. "

" Artists that are perfectionists? We find it hard sometimes to be happy a lot. "

" I had been laughed at my whole life through school, and I never really thought of it as a vocation. I mean, I started off as a soldier, and then I went into the university thinking I was going to be a journalist, but comedy kind of fell on my head and demanded I pursue it. "

" I'm used to sort of improvising a lot when I do my comedies. "

" Being a perfectionist is really difficult. You're never really happy with what you're doing, no matter how good it is. When you can just release that pressure and be in someone else's work and still have the respect of those creators to bounce off the page and give your ideas that they can take or leave? I really enjoy that. "