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" I have a great love and respect for religion, great love and respect for atheism. What I hate is agnosticism, people who do not choose. "

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" I don't pray because I don't want to bore God. "

" The only reason for doing a play is to make a statement about it, and by that I don't mean a conceit of the producer. "

" I've spent most of my mature life trying to prove that I'm not irresponsible. "

" I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money. "

" Everybody denies I am a genius - but nobody ever called me one! "

" Fake is as old as the Eden tree. "

" I started at the top and worked my way down. "

" Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me. "

" I can think of nothing that an audience won't understand. The only problem is to interest them; once they are interested, they understand anything in the world. "

" Did you ever stop to think why cops are always famous for being dumb? Simple. Because they don't have to be anything else. "

" There's no biography so interesting as the one in which the biographer is present. "

" A film is never really good unless the camera is an eye in the head of a poet. "

" I have made an art form of the interview. The French are the best interviewers, despite their addiction to the triad, like all Cartesians. "

" On my tombstone, I want written: 'He never did 'Love Boat!' "

" The ideal American type is perfectly expressed by the Protestant, individualist, anti-conformist, and this is the type that is in the process of disappearing. In reality there are few left. "

" If I don't like somebody's looks, I don't like them. "

" People are losing the capacity to listen to words or follow ideas. "

" I am essentially a hack, a commercial person. If I had a hobby, I would immediately make money on it or abandon it. "

" I don't want to forgive myself. That's why I hate psychoanalysis I think if you're guilty of something you should live with it. Get rid of it - how can you get rid of a real guilt? I think people should live with it, face up to it. "

" I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mount Sinai. "

" As a producer, sitting on the other side of the desk, I have never once had an agent go out on a limb for his client and fight for him. I've never heard one say, 'No, just a minute! This is the actor you should use.' They will always say, 'You don't like him? I've got somebody else.' They're totally spineless. "

" When you are down and out something always turns up - and it is usually the noses of your friends. "

" Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. "

" I feel I have to protect myself against things. So I'm pretty careful to lose most of them. "

" Hollywood is the only industry, even taking in soup companies, which does not have laboratories for the purpose of experimentation. "

" The enemy of society is middle class and the enemy of life is middle age. "

" Popularity should be no scale for the election of politicians. If it would depend on popularity, Donald Duck and The Muppets would take seats in senate. "

" The laws and the stage, both are a form of exhibitionism. "

" I have no great message to the world. "

" Each multiplex has screens allocated to each studio. The screens need filling. Studios have to create product to fill their screen, and the amount of good product is limited. "