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" I have a routine I go through on the days that I work, and I don't want to divert from that. "

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" I came to Vegas because I wanted to, not because I thought it could help my career. I didn't even know they had comedy clubs here. "

" I can't write a joke. I could never write. I do a lot of stories and I call them stories, but they're just comedy recitals on a given subject. "

" I didn't get rich and famous, but I do what I love. "

" Fortunately for me, or unfortunately, they made me an editor of the Parish Prison Pelican. I could read and write, and I had a way with words. "

" Most people are used to the T.V. comedy method of one joke every 18 seconds. And that's why it's not funny... There's no time for anything to develop. "

" I only have eight jokes, but I can do 'em over a two-hour period of time. "

" I look at things logically. The humor I do is to go from A to B to C to D, and F is the funny. "

" I always wanted to be a comedian, but I wasn't sure how you do that. "

" It has been a wonderful life for me. It's just been a blessing. I can't say I would have done it any other way. I have no regrets. I like what I do. "

" I'm a storyteller. I'm not like any other comic. I tell detailed stories - not made-up stuff, but true stories. "

" I'm an orator, a raconteur. "

" There's probably been very few people in comedy that have a diversified background as I do. "

" I prefer to have one gigantic laugh preceded by several smaller laughs rather than a bunch of medium laughs all along. "

" Each piece I tell stands on its own, and then it all ties together. It segues from story to story, and then I wrap it up - like three-piece movements in a symphony. "