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" I saw Chris Rock do standup before he was famous. I was just a teenager. That will always be special to me. "

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" I'm more comfortable doing a character than being myself. "

" There's a creative vibe at U.C.B., and to maintain it, we can't pay people. If you pay, then you have to assign worth to shows, and then people will resent that. "

" There's nothing more pathetic than listening to a football game over the Internet, but I've done that. "

" I thought the musical aspect of 'Freak Dance' was a good contrast to how dancers always try to come off as really tough in those movies - they're trying to literally come off as gangs like as if the Crips and the Bloods are also dancing in addition or instead of fighting with guns and knives and stuff. "

" I didn't even learn to play guitar until the movie 'Walk Hard,' which is probably fortunate because maybe I would have pursued it, and that would have been a waste of my time. "

" Right after college, a buddy of mine was moving to Boulder for some summer program, and he was like, 'Come live with me.' And I figured, why not? I love Colorado. "

" I got really depressed when Sidney Moncrief lost to Larry Bird. That really depressed me. "

" I do believe if we opened up a comedy theater in a city, that we're going to be able to teach improv better than whoever's there already. In general, I think I could say that. "

" Lou Holtz, I was also a huge fan of. He was really funny. I think that's a big part of why I was attracted to the Razorbacks: I thought Lou Holtz was really funny. He is really funny. Too bad he's a born-again, or whatever. "

" I was a DJ in college and had my own punk music-focused show all four years. "

" I'll probably never stop improvising. "

" I can't stand USC. They get such media attention. "

" I don't think I've ever had a conversation with a comedian who stole except for when it's been in anger. "

" It seems like the real television networks, the amount of people that watch each network is going down and down, and the amount of people that watch each website is going up and up. "

" Improv acting is not just saying the lines but connecting with the other actor. "

" I always like being a director in terms of giving acting notes and punching up on the fly. "

" There's something about the Razorbacks that's unique to Arkansas - I don't know how many states have just one team that the entire state coalesces around. We don't have a pro team, so everybody's into the Razorbacks. Everybody's watching the Razorbacks on Saturday. "

" I don't think 'Freak Dance' is a parody; it's more reference than anything. People don't think of 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' as a 'Frankenstein' parody. It's kind of like that. "

" Neil Mahoney was definitely the visionary in taking 'Freak Dance' from stage to screen. He made it more cinematic. He brought the choreography, all the ways to shoot that. I was more the director of actors. I was in front of the camera directing, and he was behind the camera directing. "

" People take toasting way too seriously - especially the clinking glasses part. There are always a few people who are seated too far away from each other to easily clink. "

" I never liked the glossiness of highly produced standup specials in general - I like it where it has more of a feel of the type of places I usually perform. It seems kind of weird when you do a special to go perform in a place unlike the place where you perform 95% of the time. "

" I actually find prank CDs pretty annoying. "

" The most difficult thing to pull off in a musical is the choreography. "

" When I came to Chicago, I didn't even know what improvisation meant, as far as pertaining to comedy. I knew about Second City, but I didn't know what the word 'improvisation' meant. "

" It's almost kind of satisfying when you get direct proof that someone stole your bit. It makes the times you had the paranoid suspicion feel less crazy. "

" I'm more of a sketch guy than a standup. "

" People get recruited from sketch groups and put on 'Mad TV' and 'SNL,' but those aren't ensembles, they're all-star teams. "

" I'd been involved with stand-up before improv, so I already thought highly of myself as being a funny person. I never thought I wasn't funny. "

" For all you Joe Besser haters who claim that he was the worst Stooge, that's not true - Curly Joe DeRita was the worst stooge. Joe Besser was the second worst. "

" We all hate those stories that end with 'And that's the story.' "