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" We all hate those stories that end with 'And that's the story.' "

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" I didn't even learn to play guitar until the movie 'Walk Hard,' which is probably fortunate because maybe I would have pursued it, and that would have been a waste of my time. "

" I grew up in the '80s, when breaking was cool, and then it got corny in the '90s, and it became cool again with all these choreographed B-Boy dance crews. "

" I'm more comfortable doing a character than being myself. "

" Many improv groups give off the same positive annoying vibe that I associate with Christian Young Life groups with shows that more resemble children playing than a comedy performance. "

" Every funny story has at least one unusual thing in it. "

" I always like being a director in terms of giving acting notes and punching up on the fly. "

" You can do a whole scene in acting without ever checking in to what the other guy is saying - it's not going to come off great, but you can get through the scene - whereas in improv, that's gonna be impossible. "

" Understanding listening is an epiphany moment for every improviser. At least for me it was. "

" I do believe if we opened up a comedy theater in a city, that we're going to be able to teach improv better than whoever's there already. In general, I think I could say that. "

" Don't invite me to a surprise birthday party. I don't have room for that secret. I've got enough real secrets I have to keep: dark, life-destroying secrets. "

" People take toasting way too seriously - especially the clinking glasses part. There are always a few people who are seated too far away from each other to easily clink. "

" I'll probably never stop improvising. "

" I think it's pretty stupid to write off an entire genre of anything. It's one thing to say 'I don't like country music.' But it's pretty narrow minded to say 'All country music sucks.' Of course, that being said, all short-form improv sucks. "

" For all you Joe Besser haters who claim that he was the worst Stooge, that's not true - Curly Joe DeRita was the worst stooge. Joe Besser was the second worst. "

" I think most people don't even know what 'woo pig sooie' is if they're not a sports fan or they're not from Arkansas. "

" People get recruited from sketch groups and put on 'Mad TV' and 'SNL,' but those aren't ensembles, they're all-star teams. "

" It seems like the real television networks, the amount of people that watch each network is going down and down, and the amount of people that watch each website is going up and up. "

" Acting is just about the script and the director giving you notes. In improv, it's more about trusting that the group will carry you. "

" When I came to Chicago, I didn't even know what improvisation meant, as far as pertaining to comedy. I knew about Second City, but I didn't know what the word 'improvisation' meant. "

" Often, when people don't do so well in a monologue at UCB, it's because they're racking their brain so hard to be funny that they're just not honest and don't just tell a true story, which is what we want. "

" Improv acting is not just saying the lines but connecting with the other actor. "

" I guess that I was always considered a little too weird for the standup clubs and probably too jokey for doing performance art and those places where those are done. "

" Sometimes people can be offensive and not even realize it. "

" Right after college, a buddy of mine was moving to Boulder for some summer program, and he was like, 'Come live with me.' And I figured, why not? I love Colorado. "

" I thought the musical aspect of 'Freak Dance' was a good contrast to how dancers always try to come off as really tough in those movies - they're trying to literally come off as gangs like as if the Crips and the Bloods are also dancing in addition or instead of fighting with guns and knives and stuff. "

" I got really depressed when Sidney Moncrief lost to Larry Bird. That really depressed me. "

" It's almost kind of satisfying when you get direct proof that someone stole your bit. It makes the times you had the paranoid suspicion feel less crazy. "

" I don't think 'Freak Dance' is a parody; it's more reference than anything. People don't think of 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' as a 'Frankenstein' parody. It's kind of like that. "

" I used to go to those dance circles when I was a kid. When break dancing was first popular in the '80s. I would be in Boston, or I'd head up to New York, and I would stand in those circles, and I would just be blown away. "

" I grew up in Little Rock, Arkansas, and before the Internet and before everything, just to get anything interesting, you had to go on vacation to San Francisco or something. But I think when you're in the middle of America, you feel very jealous of not just comedy but music that you don't have access to. "