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" I take a lot of pride in managing to be funny without having a victim at the end of my joke. I laugh at a really dark joke as much as the next person, but my jokes, I feel, don't have to hurt anybody to be really funny. "

Ross Mathews

End

Hurt

Laugh

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" My DVR, like, sees inside my soul, and inside my soul is a 65-year-old retired woman. So there's Food Network, HGTV and 'Golden Girls' reruns. And 'Roseanne.' "

Ross Mathews

Food

Woman

" I've always considered myself, at the end of the day, to be kind of a storyteller. "

" I actually quite love following Lisa Rinna on Twitter, because she tweets like I tweet, which is like, 'Just dropped off the kids!' Or, 'Hey, here's a great sale at the grocery store!' It's such real life, and to me she's like a celebrity - she looks like Hollywood to me - that following her makes me feel like, stars are just like us! "

" I realized I was gay in the shower one day with Barbra Streisand. It happened while I was lathering, rinsing, and repeating with Pert Plus. As I was belting out the chorus to my favorite song from 'Funny Girl,' 'Oh my man, I love him so, he'll never know...' it hit me. "

" It's a well-known fact that the TV camera adds 10 pounds. I don't want to say that I've been calling my Jenny Craig consultant a lot, but I'm pretty sure I'm the first spokesperson whom they've considered filing a restraining order against. "

" Celebrities know I'm not looking for a 'gotcha' moment. I don't want to be Barbara Walters who you come to when you first check out of rehab. I want to be the person who brings a superfan from Iowa to meet you because we love you. "

" If you haven't seen me lasso, you haven't lived. "

" I always see celebs in very weird spots. I don't always go to fancy-shmancy places, but I see celebs at coffee shops or random stores, when you're looking for a sweater and turn around like, 'OMG, that's Fred Savage!' "

" There are two industry secrets to surviving a long day on camera on the red carpet: First, no drinking the night before - ever. You can celebrate after with some bubbly. Second is make sure to use shoe insoles. I don't care if you are a guy or a girl, dress shoes are painful. Worth it, but painful. "

" I grew up in this little farm town, and I've always dreamt of Hollywood and pop culture, and then I suddenly found myself plopped in the middle of it. "

" When I was growing up I didn't know what it meant to be a happy, successful grown-up gay person, and now I do. I feel like I'm setting an example for people everywhere. "

" I am jealous of Jessica Biel because that Justin Timberlake is hot as anything. "

" People should never apologize for who they are, and they should never hide who they are. Hating yourself is so 2011. "

" I started walking rather than driving to get my coffee. I liked it so much, I do it for 45 minutes every day... You know those annoying people who are like, 'If I don't work out I feel... ugh'? I might be becoming one of those people. "

" I would like to sit down with Oprah, just because I'd like to talk to her. I want to sit down and, like, converse. Like, 'Honey, let's chat!' "

" When you struggle with weight, it's not an internal struggle... it's literally an external struggle, and everyone sees it. "

" What I love most about achieving whatever I've achieved is that the Seattle Seahawks follow me on Twitter! "

Ross Mathews

Achieving

Love

" Since I was 8 years old, I wanted to be a talk show host. "

" I recently got into 'Scandal.' I'm obsessed. It's so good. I want to know Olivia Pope. I want to dress like her; I want to be friends with her. I wish she were real! "

" I had that laser focus, identified what I wanted when I was a kid, and never let anything get in my way. If you look on paper at who I am and what I sound like, and what I look like, you wouldn't say, 'Go into broadcasting.' It's just what I wanted to do - I knew that I could do it, and I never let anyone tell me that I couldn't. "

" My guilty pleasure is elastic-waisted pants. And reruns of shows I've already seen 400 times on TV. "

" If you want to succeed at any job, make yourself invaluable. Go the extra mile; make them never be able to imagine what life without you there would be like. "

" There are so many funny people and so many talented people, but the one thing nobody else has is my take on the world. So, when I'm developing my show, that's going to be the focus. "

" Love yourself, whatever makes you different, and use it to make you stand out. Mine is my voice and the fact that I'm gay: well, the fact that I'm flamboyantly gay. "

" Usually, you get to interview that one girl who plays the sister on some Disney show - you interview that girl a lot - but sometimes, every once in a while, you get to interview a legend. I have interviewed some amazingly iconic people, including Michelle Obama, Oprah, Sidney Poitier and Judy Dench. These people are legit icons. "

" If the powers that be really knew how much time I spent thinking about and researching celebrities, they probably wouldn't let me anywhere near the red carpet. But, please promise not to tell them. I'm harmless, I swear. "

Ross Mathews

Red

Thinking

" I remember watching Regis and Kathie Lee interview celebrities, and my mom looked so happy. I just did the math. I wanted to make my mom happy, and I wanted to talk to celebrities. Basically, I wanted Kathie Lee's job! "

" There were times I was told, 'You are too gay.' I turned down a lot of things because producers said they wanted me to be different. I said, 'It's not going to happen.' "

Ross Mathews

Be Different

Said

" You're in front of an audience and thinking off the top of your head - you're going to say things that offend people sometimes. Sometimes I'll be driving home, and I'll be like, 'Oh, crap, I shouldn't have said that.' "