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All Quotes by author - Ross Mathews
" Celebrities know I'm not looking for a 'gotcha' moment. I don't want to be Barbara Walters who you come to when you first check out of rehab. I want to be the person who brings a superfan from Iowa to meet you because we love you. "
Love
Meet
Moment
" I actually quite love following Lisa Rinna on Twitter, because she tweets like I tweet, which is like, 'Just dropped off the kids!' Or, 'Hey, here's a great sale at the grocery store!' It's such real life, and to me she's like a celebrity - she looks like Hollywood to me - that following her makes me feel like, stars are just like us! "
She
Love
Life
" I always see celebs in very weird spots. I don't always go to fancy-shmancy places, but I see celebs at coffee shops or random stores, when you're looking for a sweater and turn around like, 'OMG, that's Fred Savage!' "
You
Random
Looking
" I am jealous of Jessica Biel because that Justin Timberlake is hot as anything. "
I Am
Hot
Anything
" I'd love to host a game show one day. I love giving things away. "
One Day
Giving
Game
" If the powers that be really knew how much time I spent thinking about and researching celebrities, they probably wouldn't let me anywhere near the red carpet. But, please promise not to tell them. I'm harmless, I swear. "
Me
Red
Thinking
" If you haven't seen me lasso, you haven't lived. "
Lived
Seen
You
" If you want to succeed at any job, make yourself invaluable. Go the extra mile; make them never be able to imagine what life without you there would be like. "
Want
Job
Life
" I got to have about 15 minutes with Michelle Obama, and that was a big deal because you're like, 'Wow, I'm part of living history.' You know? I definitely think she could take me in an arm wrestling match. "
Know
Me
Think
" I grew up in this little farm town, and I've always dreamt of Hollywood and pop culture, and then I suddenly found myself plopped in the middle of it. "
Culture
Myself
Always
" I had that laser focus, identified what I wanted when I was a kid, and never let anything get in my way. If you look on paper at who I am and what I sound like, and what I look like, you wouldn't say, 'Go into broadcasting.' It's just what I wanted to do - I knew that I could do it, and I never let anyone tell me that I couldn't. "
Focus
Say
You
" I know what it's like to scream when you see Justin Timberlake in person because I've done it. "
Like
Done
Person
" I learned from my father how to swear right and how to string it together for optimum effect/affect. I use it like karate. I bring it out when it's needed. "
Together
Right
Father
" I'll talk to Howard Stern about anything. I listen to him every day. I love him. When you go on his show, you kind of have to be an open book. "
You
Day
Book
" I played football in eighth grade, and even though I had a passion for it, it turned out I'm no good at playing it. "
Playing
Football
Good
" I realized I was gay in the shower one day with Barbra Streisand. It happened while I was lathering, rinsing, and repeating with Pert Plus. As I was belting out the chorus to my favorite song from 'Funny Girl,' 'Oh my man, I love him so, he'll never know...' it hit me. "
Day
Song
Love
" I recently got into 'Scandal.' I'm obsessed. It's so good. I want to know Olivia Pope. I want to dress like her; I want to be friends with her. I wish she were real! "
Good
Dress
She
" I remember watching Regis and Kathie Lee interview celebrities, and my mom looked so happy. I just did the math. I wanted to make my mom happy, and I wanted to talk to celebrities. Basically, I wanted Kathie Lee's job! "
Job
Mom
Talk
" I started walking rather than driving to get my coffee. I liked it so much, I do it for 45 minutes every day... You know those annoying people who are like, 'If I don't work out I feel... ugh'? I might be becoming one of those people. "
Know
People
Day
" I take a lot of pride in managing to be funny without having a victim at the end of my joke. I laugh at a really dark joke as much as the next person, but my jokes, I feel, don't have to hurt anybody to be really funny. "
End
Hurt
Laugh
" It's a well-known fact that the TV camera adds 10 pounds. I don't want to say that I've been calling my Jenny Craig consultant a lot, but I'm pretty sure I'm the first spokesperson whom they've considered filing a restraining order against. "
Pretty
Say
Want
" I've always considered myself, at the end of the day, to be kind of a storyteller. "
Kind
Myself
End
" I've met Oprah Winfrey twice, but I want to spend some quality time with her. I want to sit her down and talk at her for a minute about what she means to me and why she means that. Then I have some advice for her, too... I have an idea or two. "
Time
Advice
Down
" I would like to sit down with Oprah, just because I'd like to talk to her. I want to sit down and, like, converse. Like, 'Honey, let's chat!' "
Just Because
Honey
Down
" Love yourself, whatever makes you different, and use it to make you stand out. Mine is my voice and the fact that I'm gay: well, the fact that I'm flamboyantly gay. "
Love Yourself
Love
Yourself
" My DVR, like, sees inside my soul, and inside my soul is a 65-year-old retired woman. So there's Food Network, HGTV and 'Golden Girls' reruns. And 'Roseanne.' "
Like
Food
Woman
" My guilty pleasure is elastic-waisted pants. And reruns of shows I've already seen 400 times on TV. "
Seen
Pants
Guilty
" My voice is so high-pitched, only gay dogs can hear it. "
Dogs
Voice
Only
" Not to be too preachy, but I would really recommend to people, if you get the chance, to trust yourselves to leap without a net, because that will build the confidence. You know, you might shock yourself with how much you don't need a net because you can catch yourself. "
Yourself
You
Trust
" People should never apologize for who they are, and they should never hide who they are. Hating yourself is so 2011. "
Hide
Hating
Yourself
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