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" I think I write serious comedies. I would love to be able to write for pure pleasure, but the undertow is always loneliness. "

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" I don't feel so alive if I'm not being creative. "

" My dialogue probably reveals the paranoia of the stand-up: if you're not quick and interesting, they will be gone. "

" Theatre is how I first encountered art on any level. "

" I hoped the dramatic power of the play would rest on that tension between elegant structure - the underlying plan is that you see the first and last meeting of every couple in the play - and inelegant emotion. "

" I'm a Golden Globe nominee, yes. It's very nice. It's a very nice thing, but I kind of think of all the awards I wasn't ever nominated for, for years and things. "

" It's one of the reasons I don't do drugs. One sniff and I'd go all the way. "

" I'm a Jew. I think of myself as a Jew first and Englishman second. "

" Enough people like me. Enough to let me sleep at night. "

" I'm a happily married man and I think to get married you have to be optimistic. "

" A part of me would like to see the money go to hospitals or housing, but I have benefited so greatly from funding for the National Theatre, which has been incredible. "

" I mean when the play was on in New York I was starting to get film offers coming through, and since the film's come out I get offered more than I used to, but it happens incrementally. "

" Most of what I write is comedy. "

" I'm constantly having to be vigilant with a depressive tendency, an addictive tendency. "

" Oh, I would love to be in Don Juan's shoes for a weekend. Not that I was ever handsome enough to be a Don Juan. "

" When I'm on a train and see an empty pitch, it gives me a certain pleasure that I can't quite describe. It's to do with potential. "

" It doesn't really feel like it's got anything to do with me. I mean, I know I wrote it, and all that and invented the characters and made it up, but it's Mike's film, so doing the press and stuff, it feels a little bit inauthentic. I was just one component of it. "

" I don't try to be likeable. The worst thing people do is present versions of themselves to the world that aren't real. "

" I dispute that 'Closer' is about betrayal. Betrayal is one of the elements. "

" Great comedy is always sadistic. "

" A couple of flop plays, a death in the family, and it could all collapse. "

" In 2012, I really thought, 'That's it. It's over. I've written what I can write.' "

" I know it's a film and all of that, and it's a Hollywood film, but it kind of feels like this sometimes, when you're in pain and it hurts, and you're desperate. Or you are about to cross some moral line and it's so seductive and you just do... and all that. "

" My life is in dialogue with the plays that I write. The relationship I have with my plays is very, very intimate, and I dot my life through them. "

" But I'm the sort of person who, if certain structures topple, it could all go horribly wrong. "

" I have the comedian's fear of bottles flying. I've never been bottled off, but I have had things thrown at me. Bag of crisps. And there's still a part of me, when I sit in an audience, that thinks people are going to start heckling the play. "

" I consider myself a Jewish writer, like all my heroes: Tom Stoppard, David Mamet, Philip Roth, Arthur Miller, Woody Allen. "

" I have made a decision that in future, I will only take on movies that have a better than 75 per cent chance of being made, and that's not easy. "

" When I couldn't write, I felt like a zombie. "

" I like them all - I don't always approve. I see myself as a sort of benevolent uncle to these characters, and I can see why they do what they do; sometimes they make some mistakes, but at heart I think they're decent. "

" I used to go with my parents and loved it, I was in school plays, and I started reading plays before I started reading novels. I'll defend it to the hilt. When theatre is good it is fabulous. "