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" I like them all - I don't always approve. I see myself as a sort of benevolent uncle to these characters, and I can see why they do what they do; sometimes they make some mistakes, but at heart I think they're decent. "

Patrick Marber

Heart

Mistakes

Myself

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" I did have a midlife crisis. "

Patrick Marber

Crisis

Did

" I used to go with my parents and loved it, I was in school plays, and I started reading plays before I started reading novels. I'll defend it to the hilt. When theatre is good it is fabulous. "

" Theatre is how I first encountered art on any level. "

" The trite answer is that everything is true but none of it happened. It is emotionally true, but the events, the plotting, the narrative, isn't true of my life, though I've experienced most of the emotions experienced by the characters in the play. "

" I think writing is a glorious and noble thing. "

" My dialogue probably reveals the paranoia of the stand-up: if you're not quick and interesting, they will be gone. "

" I consider myself a Jewish writer, like all my heroes: Tom Stoppard, David Mamet, Philip Roth, Arthur Miller, Woody Allen. "

Patrick Marber

Jewish

Myself

" When I look back I can't believe I was so stupid as to direct Dealer's Choice. "

" I have made a decision that in future, I will only take on movies that have a better than 75 per cent chance of being made, and that's not easy. "

" When you're in your early 20s your love life seems to explode every 20 minutes or so. By the time you've reached your thirties, it is every five or ten years. "

" But I'm the sort of person who, if certain structures topple, it could all go horribly wrong. "

" If I get anything out, producing anything, no matter whether it's good or not, I allow myself a little pat on the back. "

" When I'm on a train and see an empty pitch, it gives me a certain pleasure that I can't quite describe. It's to do with potential. "

" When I couldn't write, I felt like a zombie. "

" Almost every play is 10, 15 minutes too long. "

" I don't try to be likeable. The worst thing people do is present versions of themselves to the world that aren't real. "

" Enough people like me. Enough to let me sleep at night. "

Patrick Marber

Sleep

Night

" Always when I directed the play, I was always trying to cast people not who were necessarily like the characters, but people who I felt had the essential component that the character had, some kind of soul for it. "

" Great comedy is always sadistic. "

" I'm a Jew. I think of myself as a Jew first and Englishman second. "

" I come back to the theatre happily knowing that while it won't make me rich, it will provide me with fun. "

Patrick Marber

Knowing

Rich

" Well, you just know, as a writer, I didn't really write one of the five best screenplays of the year. There were lots of brilliant screenplays; I was just one of the lucky ones who got nominated. "

" I dispute that 'Closer' is about betrayal. Betrayal is one of the elements. "

" It's one of the reasons I don't do drugs. One sniff and I'd go all the way. "

" I have the comedian's fear of bottles flying. I've never been bottled off, but I have had things thrown at me. Bag of crisps. And there's still a part of me, when I sit in an audience, that thinks people are going to start heckling the play. "

" In 2012, I really thought, 'That's it. It's over. I've written what I can write.' "

" I'm constantly having to be vigilant with a depressive tendency, an addictive tendency. "

" I'd been to the Comedy Store, and I loved the terror of it and the way the best comedians could control the crowd. What confidence that would give you, if you could somehow survive. "

" I'm a happily married man and I think to get married you have to be optimistic. "

" But I think the thing I'm proud of about the film is that there aren't many films - either independent films or mainstream Hollywood films - that are like this; it's of its own times, and it's the film Mike Nichols wanted to make. "

Patrick Marber

Proud

Think