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" I have the comedian's fear of bottles flying. I've never been bottled off, but I have had things thrown at me. Bag of crisps. And there's still a part of me, when I sit in an audience, that thinks people are going to start heckling the play. "

Patrick Marber

Fear

Start

People

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" In 2012, I really thought, 'That's it. It's over. I've written what I can write.' "

" I'd been to the Comedy Store, and I loved the terror of it and the way the best comedians could control the crowd. What confidence that would give you, if you could somehow survive. "

" But I think the thing I'm proud of about the film is that there aren't many films - either independent films or mainstream Hollywood films - that are like this; it's of its own times, and it's the film Mike Nichols wanted to make. "

Patrick Marber

Proud

Think

" When I'm on a train and see an empty pitch, it gives me a certain pleasure that I can't quite describe. It's to do with potential. "

" I hoped the dramatic power of the play would rest on that tension between elegant structure - the underlying plan is that you see the first and last meeting of every couple in the play - and inelegant emotion. "

" If I get anything out, producing anything, no matter whether it's good or not, I allow myself a little pat on the back. "

" I come back to the theatre happily knowing that while it won't make me rich, it will provide me with fun. "

Patrick Marber

Knowing

Rich

" But I'm the sort of person who, if certain structures topple, it could all go horribly wrong. "

" I think writing is a glorious and noble thing. "

" I think I write serious comedies. I would love to be able to write for pure pleasure, but the undertow is always loneliness. "

" I mean when the play was on in New York I was starting to get film offers coming through, and since the film's come out I get offered more than I used to, but it happens incrementally. "

" It's one of the reasons I don't do drugs. One sniff and I'd go all the way. "

" I know it's a film and all of that, and it's a Hollywood film, but it kind of feels like this sometimes, when you're in pain and it hurts, and you're desperate. Or you are about to cross some moral line and it's so seductive and you just do... and all that. "

" When you're in your early 20s your love life seems to explode every 20 minutes or so. By the time you've reached your thirties, it is every five or ten years. "

" I don't try to be likeable. The worst thing people do is present versions of themselves to the world that aren't real. "

" I'm constantly having to be vigilant with a depressive tendency, an addictive tendency. "

" A part of me would like to see the money go to hospitals or housing, but I have benefited so greatly from funding for the National Theatre, which has been incredible. "

Patrick Marber

Theatre

See

" I did have a midlife crisis. "

Patrick Marber

Crisis

Did

" It doesn't really feel like it's got anything to do with me. I mean, I know I wrote it, and all that and invented the characters and made it up, but it's Mike's film, so doing the press and stuff, it feels a little bit inauthentic. I was just one component of it. "

Patrick Marber

Film

Mean

" My life is in dialogue with the plays that I write. The relationship I have with my plays is very, very intimate, and I dot my life through them. "

" A couple of flop plays, a death in the family, and it could all collapse. "

" Enough people like me. Enough to let me sleep at night. "

Patrick Marber

Sleep

Night

" I used to go with my parents and loved it, I was in school plays, and I started reading plays before I started reading novels. I'll defend it to the hilt. When theatre is good it is fabulous. "

" Always when I directed the play, I was always trying to cast people not who were necessarily like the characters, but people who I felt had the essential component that the character had, some kind of soul for it. "

" Great comedy is always sadistic. "

" I don't feel so alive if I'm not being creative. "

" My whole life has a Jewish flavour. "

" My dialogue probably reveals the paranoia of the stand-up: if you're not quick and interesting, they will be gone. "

" The trite answer is that everything is true but none of it happened. It is emotionally true, but the events, the plotting, the narrative, isn't true of my life, though I've experienced most of the emotions experienced by the characters in the play. "

" I'm a happily married man and I think to get married you have to be optimistic. "