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" I think people respect honesty rather than hiding it. "

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" I did a gig at a comedy club in Bournemouth where they served a buffet while the acts were on. There was the clang of people carving turkey during the set. If you put comedy and turkey side by side, turkey always wins. "

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" I acted at school but got very bad parts - things that they'd made up in Shakespeare plays like 'Guard 17' - so I wrote plays and gave myself parts, then I wrote sketches, then I did stand-up. Even in the school nativity I was the emu in the manger. "

" My dad doesn't hug me enough! "

" I don't like comedians who don't have conviction, and with stand-up, it is always best to have an angle. "

" I vote for whoever will annoy my dad. "

" I'm not actually posh; I'm really rough and from the wrong side of the tracks. I grew up in Putney, which is pretty rough. "

" When I was younger, I was insecure for about 10 years: I wore glasses, had a cow's lick, buck teeth and braces. I looked ridiculous. "

" I wish I was a bit shorter, as I think shorter people have better walks. Freddie Fox, the actor, is shorter than me and has an amazing gait; and Tom Cruise has a brilliant run. I'm just gangly. "

" If I could look like anyone, it would be Jamie Redknapp - even up close, he's amazing. "

" My mother giving birth to me was just like Lady Sybil giving birth, except that there wasn't such a tragic ending. "

" I've definitely become smuttier. When I first started out, I had these aspirations: 'I'm not going to do jokes about anything crude because I'm bigger and better than that.' But then, I don't know... It makes me laugh, so I started doing it. "

" Society is so divided in its perception of public school people. Most people who went to public school behave in the right way, but every now and then there will be someone who comes along and ruins it. "

" I want to write a film. I need to think of the right idea and focus on that; I love writing. "

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" I hope people think of me as a bit older. I do have a beard. That makes me look very old. "