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" I'm very conscious of other people's opinions and of people not liking me. "

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" I acted at school but got very bad parts - things that they'd made up in Shakespeare plays like 'Guard 17' - so I wrote plays and gave myself parts, then I wrote sketches, then I did stand-up. Even in the school nativity I was the emu in the manger. "

" I want to write a film. I need to think of the right idea and focus on that; I love writing. "

" I'd like to scale back the television. I'm constantly told that I'm over-exposed, and I don't want to end up like Carol Vorderman. "

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" I'm not actually posh; I'm really rough and from the wrong side of the tracks. I grew up in Putney, which is pretty rough. "

" I've definitely become smuttier. When I first started out, I had these aspirations: 'I'm not going to do jokes about anything crude because I'm bigger and better than that.' But then, I don't know... It makes me laugh, so I started doing it. "

" Part of doing stand-up is to get things off your chest. It's a bit like being in a psychiatrist's chair - but more enjoyable. "

" My mother giving birth to me was just like Lady Sybil giving birth, except that there wasn't such a tragic ending. "

" When I was younger, I was insecure for about 10 years: I wore glasses, had a cow's lick, buck teeth and braces. I looked ridiculous. "

" I vote for whoever will annoy my dad. "

" I don't like comedians who don't have conviction, and with stand-up, it is always best to have an angle. "

" If I could look like anyone, it would be Jamie Redknapp - even up close, he's amazing. "

" Live stand-up is my thing. I love being on stage and just messing around. "

" Once you start doing a lot, you don't ever want to stop working. It feels weird if you're not doing something. "

" I think people respect honesty rather than hiding it. "

" I like to think I'm a bit smarter than I sometimes let on. "

" For the first six months of my stand-up career, I was talking like Danny Dyer. I was doing a lot of 'alright guvnors?' It wasn't true to who I was. "

" If I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I think I can say something funny to defuse it. Sometimes you can't. "

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" I did a gig at a comedy club in Bournemouth where they served a buffet while the acts were on. There was the clang of people carving turkey during the set. If you put comedy and turkey side by side, turkey always wins. "

" I love stand-up, but the process of writing is a little more lonely. I want to keep doing both, though. "