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" I used to draw a lot. If my mother would ask me to do something else, I'd have a hairy conniption. I'd just go crazy. "

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" I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible forever and ever. "

" I've tried everything. I've done therapy, I've done colonics. I went to a psychic who had me running around town buying pieces of ribbon to fill the colors in my aura. Did the Prozac thing. "

" People need motivation to do anything. I don't think human beings learn anything without desperation. "

" I feel like I want to take care of everyone and I also feel this terrible guilt if I am unable to. And I have felt this way ever since all this success started. "

" Either you're the one erasing or you're the one being erased. "

" One thing I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am will never work in this town again. "

" I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful. "

" My family kinda hit the skids. We were experiencing poverty at that point. We all got a job, where the whole family had to work as security guards and janitors. And I just got angry. "

" I don't care if people think I am an overactor, as long as they enjoy what I do. People who think that would call Van Gogh an overpainter. "

" If I had never ventured beyond being a stand-up comic, then I would be sitting in my house today working on my Leonardo DiCaprio impression. "

" I refuse to feel guilty. I feel guilty about too much in my life but not about money. I went through periods when I had nothing, so somebody in my family has to get stinkin' wealthy. "

" When the first big paycheque with 'Dumb And Dumber' hit, I went: 'Gosh, I wonder if this will affect my performance. Will I do a take and think, was that worth $7 million?' But that never happened. If anything, it made me rebel against that thing when people who get rich start playing it safe. "

" Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them. "

" My life is not unlike Truman's. I can't go anywhere. "

" The money can be a hindrance to someone like me because the danger is that you start thinking, 'Is that a $20 million take?' That kind of thing, and being self-critical. "

" I try to do something the audience might not have seen before. Like if I'm gonna kiss a girl I wanna kiss her like a girl has never been kissed. Like maybe I would kick her legs out from under her and catch her right before she hits the ground and then kiss her. "

" Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. "

" But, you know, you can't be a star at home. "

" I'm so wrapped up in my work that it's often impossible to consider other things in my life. My marriage ended in divorce because of this, my relationship with Holly has suffered by this. "

" I don't think human beings learn anything without desperation. Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything or creating anything. Period. If you ain't desperate at some point, you ain't interesting. "

" What I have in common with the character in 'Truman' is this incredible need to please people. I feel like I want to take care of everyone and I also feel this terrible guilt if I am unable to. And I have felt this way ever since all this success started. "

" It is better to risk starving to death then surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what's left? "

" Green Eggs and Ham was the story of my life. I wouldn't eat a thing when I was a kid, but Dr. Seuss inspired me to try cauliflower! "

" If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret. "

" I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.' "

" Ya know what I do almost every day? I wash. Personal hygiene is part of the package with me. "

" Morgan Freeman is so class. He's so cool. He's so scary. "

" Creative people don't behave very well generally. If you're looking for examples of good relationships in show business, you're gonna be depressed real fast. I don't have time for anything else right now but work and my daughter. She's my first priority. "

" If you've got a talent, protect it. "

" I really believe in the philosophy that you create your own universe. I'm just trying to create a good one for myself. "