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" I want to continually find ways to bring my ideas off the stage and into the real world, into the streets. I think I can make the world a better place, if only for a little while. "
Kurt Braunohler
Ideas
Place
Think
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" Every day I do one or two podcasts that 92 percent of people never will hear. I'm constantly producing, constantly making jokes for Twitter. There's a lot of pressure there. On the flip side, I think having to produce like that makes you a better comedian. "
Kurt Braunohler
Think
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Day
" I go on Wikipedia and alter pages of animals with fake facts that I've made up about those animals. "
Kurt Braunohler
Fake
Animals
Up
" It used to be if you wanted to be a comedian, you used to just do sets. You'd go up three times a night, just get better, and then some people would see you and you'd do 'The Tonight Show,' and then boom, you're a comedian. "
Kurt Braunohler
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" I grew up very Catholic. I wanted to be a priest. "
Kurt Braunohler
Wanted
Catholic
Very
" So much of existence is so boring. To have little moments of stupidity is always welcome. "
Kurt Braunohler
Moments
Welcome
Boring
" A lot of improvisers mistakenly assume stand-up is awful, because there are a lot of stand-ups in the world that did not appeal to me. It was so easy to make a blanket statement when I was improvising only: 'Stand-up's terrible.' It's so ignorant and stupid to do that. But it's easy to do that. So that's where I came from. "
Kurt Braunohler
Stupid
Only
Me
" For people who mourn for old Times Square - hey, there's a ton of places in the city still like that! Get on the train and go visit them! "
Kurt Braunohler
Train
City
Old
" I would love to be more specific, but really, any type of bird is the funniest animal. They have to move awkwardly when walking. They have beady eyes; they are very suspicious. They can't do anything right. They have no hands, which is inherently funny. "
Kurt Braunohler
Eyes
Bird
Funny
" There are a billion songs that I've heard and said, 'I don't even care to have an opinion about it,' but if I have to hear a snippet of the refrain of 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' once, it'll get stuck in my head, and that drives me crazy. "
Kurt Braunohler
Together
Care
Crazy
" For a long time, I dressed like an idiot. In college, I had a fully shaved head with just two horns. Like, a coxcomb of hair that I would sculpt into two horns. I looked like a crazy person. "
Kurt Braunohler
Time
Hair
Long
" There's this secret Korean taco/cupcake truck I go to. To find it, you have to bring a hard-boiled egg to this deli in Bushwick where they give you the address. "
Kurt Braunohler
Truck
Bring
Egg
" People have said that to me: They say I have a TV face. "
Kurt Braunohler
Say
They Say
Me
" For a long time, I would go out of my way to have a personal appearance on the verge of an insane person, because it was closer to how I felt, but I looked so dumb. So, I just stopped. It was like, 'I'm just going to look like a banker.' "
Kurt Braunohler
Time
Long
Dumb
" I pushed against doing a podcast for so long. I'm a very late comer to the podcast game. But you're responsibility as a comedian is to get your viewpoints out into the world, and we have a lot more avenues to do that. So it's a lot more opportunity, but really have to work all the time. "
Kurt Braunohler
Work
Time
Responsibility
" I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my life?' I started to think about why I was a comedian, and then I came up with a reason for existence, which is: inserting absurdity or stupidity into strangers' lives in order to make the world a better place. "
Kurt Braunohler
Writing
Think
Stupidity
" 'Bunk' is a comedy game show where, each week, three of my favorite comedians compete in a series of bizarre and meaningless challenges all for my entertainment. Ethan T. Berlin and Eric Bryant created 'Bunk.' "
Kurt Braunohler
Challenges
Game
Week
" Everyone wants something that'll appeal to, like, 13-year-olds to 18-year-olds. Especially working in television and trying to pitch shows, they're like, 'We definitely want something that a 14-year-old will be, like, super-psyched about.' And I'm like, 'I don't know if my reality is appealing to a 14-year-old.' "
Kurt Braunohler
Television
Reality
Know
" The rules of game shows limit stuff so much. I remember on 'Money From Strangers,' being in the van - not even performing - and there was a lawyer there the entire time. 'No, you can't give money for that. Yes, you can give money for that. That's a partial answer. That's a full answer.' "
Kurt Braunohler
You
Money
Lawyer
" Other than Caroline's in New York, I pretty much haven't done clubs. That was primarily because I always liked the people and audiences at theaters and bars better. "
Kurt Braunohler
Always
People
New York
" In my new IFC comedy game show, 'Bunk,' we actually use our intern Patrick as a human timer - giving contestants the time it takes for him to wade through a bag of broken glass for a razor blade, to get gum out of his hair, to pick up every strand from a box of spaghetti I spill on the floor, etc, etc. "
Kurt Braunohler
Comedy
Broken
Time
" It's amazing how much people talk about colonics here. That's not a thing anywhere else in the country. But I totally did a juice cleanse, I did a colonic - I'm getting into L.A. living! "
Kurt Braunohler
People
Country
Juice
" I never understood using Kickstarter for commercial purposes. If you want to raise money for commercial purposes, I think you should give someone a dividend. They make money, then you make money. It should be an investment, whereas I think Kickstarter's true purpose is raising money for things that are in and of themselves justifying. "
Kurt Braunohler
True
You
Money
" When I moved to New York at 22, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I took an improv class, and the first scene I did, I felt like 'I want to do this for the rest of my life.' It was the first time I ever felt like that about anything. I tried to make a living off improv. "
Kurt Braunohler
My Life
Life
New
" It is an intern's job to go for coffee for anyone who asks, preferably delivering it scalding hot and cupped in your bare hands! "
Kurt Braunohler
Coffee
Job
Intern
" Eric Bryant and Ethan Berlin, the creators of 'Bunk,' asked me to come get involved in very early process when they wanted to make a game show. "
Kurt Braunohler
Me
Early
Involved
" The entire New York comedy scene has moved to L.A. - it's bled the New York comedy scene dry. "
Kurt Braunohler
New
Comedy
Dry
" Anyone can become a game show host. It simply requires a giant, narcissistic ego and an inability to do anything else. The closest thing to school I did was looking in the mirror one hundred times a day and repeating, 'People should listen to you talk.' "
Kurt Braunohler
Looking
School
Day
" You don't become a fully-formed human as a female, or even a male, until you're at least 30. "
Kurt Braunohler
Even
You
Until
" We are going to do 'Hot Tub' until we die. Every Monday. Then we'll come back and do it as zombies. 'Hot Tub' is very important. What we do is based on our live skills. It's stand-up and sketch and improv; everything we do in 'Hot Tub' is important to our jobs. And every Monday I'm excited to do it. "
Kurt Braunohler
Live
Important
Die
" New York is a place that can grind you down and spit you out. A true New Yorker doesn't get ground down - he gets polished. "
Kurt Braunohler
You
New York
Grind