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" It is an intern's job to go for coffee for anyone who asks, preferably delivering it scalding hot and cupped in your bare hands! "
Kurt Braunohler
Coffee
Job
Intern
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" Eric Bryant and Ethan Berlin, the creators of 'Bunk,' asked me to come get involved in very early process when they wanted to make a game show. "
Kurt Braunohler
Me
Early
Involved
" All the great game show hosts have a signature 'look,' from Bob Barker's year-round Brazil Nut-hued tan to Monty Hall's oversized lamb chop sideburns. As the host of IFC's new comedy game show 'Bunk,' I, too, have worked to develop a style signature by being the first man or woman in TV history to host every show in my bare feet! "
Kurt Braunohler
Man
Woman
Style
" You don't become a fully-formed human as a female, or even a male, until you're at least 30. "
Kurt Braunohler
Even
You
Until
" So much of existence is so boring. To have little moments of stupidity is always welcome. "
Kurt Braunohler
Moments
Welcome
Boring
" I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my life?' I started to think about why I was a comedian, and then I came up with a reason for existence, which is: inserting absurdity or stupidity into strangers' lives in order to make the world a better place. "
Kurt Braunohler
Writing
Think
Stupidity
" In doing my podcast, I do find that I tend to try out bits that I then try on stage later that day. If they work, great, and if they don't, I regret having talked about it on the podcast. "
Kurt Braunohler
Day
Find
Doing
" The entire New York comedy scene has moved to L.A. - it's bled the New York comedy scene dry. "
Kurt Braunohler
New
Comedy
Dry
" Who would want to get back together with Taylor Swift after having dated her? I'm sure dating her is like talking to a white sheet of paper with a little bit of vanilla ice cream on it that doesn't say anything. "
Kurt Braunohler
Talking
Together
Ice Cream
" Auditions are just torture. I'm trying to get better at it. It's a very difficult thing to do. You go into a tiny room with a camera with somebody who is doing this with 100 other people, and they're so bored, and then you have to be like, 'Hey! I'm gonna show you what I got!' "
Kurt Braunohler
Doing
Camera
You
" I would love to be more specific, but really, any type of bird is the funniest animal. They have to move awkwardly when walking. They have beady eyes; they are very suspicious. They can't do anything right. They have no hands, which is inherently funny. "
Kurt Braunohler
Eyes
Bird
Funny
" For people who mourn for old Times Square - hey, there's a ton of places in the city still like that! Get on the train and go visit them! "
Kurt Braunohler
Train
City
Old
" Anyone can become a game show host. It simply requires a giant, narcissistic ego and an inability to do anything else. The closest thing to school I did was looking in the mirror one hundred times a day and repeating, 'People should listen to you talk.' "
Kurt Braunohler
Looking
School
Day
" I grew up very Catholic. I wanted to be a priest. "
Kurt Braunohler
Wanted
Catholic
Very
" For a long time, I dressed like an idiot. In college, I had a fully shaved head with just two horns. Like, a coxcomb of hair that I would sculpt into two horns. I looked like a crazy person. "
Kurt Braunohler
Time
Hair
Long
" In my new IFC comedy game show, 'Bunk,' we actually use our intern Patrick as a human timer - giving contestants the time it takes for him to wade through a bag of broken glass for a razor blade, to get gum out of his hair, to pick up every strand from a box of spaghetti I spill on the floor, etc, etc. "
Kurt Braunohler
Comedy
Broken
Time
" I pushed against doing a podcast for so long. I'm a very late comer to the podcast game. But you're responsibility as a comedian is to get your viewpoints out into the world, and we have a lot more avenues to do that. So it's a lot more opportunity, but really have to work all the time. "
Kurt Braunohler
Work
Time
Responsibility
" When I moved to New York at 22, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I took an improv class, and the first scene I did, I felt like 'I want to do this for the rest of my life.' It was the first time I ever felt like that about anything. I tried to make a living off improv. "
Kurt Braunohler
My Life
Life
New
" The feeling of being an outsider was a big part of my childhood. I think that helps comedians. That feeling of being an outsider. That desire for a perspective that's all your own. The idea for me to make stuff myself with my own meaning came from that as well. "
Kurt Braunohler
Think
Childhood
Myself
" I want to continually find ways to bring my ideas off the stage and into the real world, into the streets. I think I can make the world a better place, if only for a little while. "
Kurt Braunohler
Ideas
Place
Think
" Other than Caroline's in New York, I pretty much haven't done clubs. That was primarily because I always liked the people and audiences at theaters and bars better. "
Kurt Braunohler
Always
People
New York
" I never understood using Kickstarter for commercial purposes. If you want to raise money for commercial purposes, I think you should give someone a dividend. They make money, then you make money. It should be an investment, whereas I think Kickstarter's true purpose is raising money for things that are in and of themselves justifying. "
Kurt Braunohler
True
You
Money
" There's this secret Korean taco/cupcake truck I go to. To find it, you have to bring a hard-boiled egg to this deli in Bushwick where they give you the address. "
Kurt Braunohler
Truck
Bring
Egg
" My parents got divorced when I was 2, so I have this weird thing where I have 8 brothers and sisters, but I am also an only child. "
Kurt Braunohler
Only
I Am
Child
" 'Bunk' is better than 'Wheel of Fortune' because we have a wheel, just like them, but our wheel is purposeless. It doesn't do anything. It just spins for no reason. Which is nice because it frees our wheel up to really pursue its dream: becoming a professional paddlewheel. "
Kurt Braunohler
Wheel
Nice
Dream
" It is true that I do not wear shoes as the host of 'Bunk.' I want 'Bunk' to feel like there's a slight possibility that a confident homeless man just wondered into the studio and started hosting a game show. "
Kurt Braunohler
Feel
Homeless
Shoes
" 'Bunk' is a comedy game show where, each week, three of my favorite comedians compete in a series of bizarre and meaningless challenges all for my entertainment. Ethan T. Berlin and Eric Bryant created 'Bunk.' "
Kurt Braunohler
Challenges
Game
Week
" It used to be if you wanted to be a comedian, you used to just do sets. You'd go up three times a night, just get better, and then some people would see you and you'd do 'The Tonight Show,' and then boom, you're a comedian. "
Kurt Braunohler
See
Better
You
" It's amazing how much people talk about colonics here. That's not a thing anywhere else in the country. But I totally did a juice cleanse, I did a colonic - I'm getting into L.A. living! "
Kurt Braunohler
People
Country
Juice
" A lot of improvisers mistakenly assume stand-up is awful, because there are a lot of stand-ups in the world that did not appeal to me. It was so easy to make a blanket statement when I was improvising only: 'Stand-up's terrible.' It's so ignorant and stupid to do that. But it's easy to do that. So that's where I came from. "
Kurt Braunohler
Stupid
Only
Me
" People have said that to me: They say I have a TV face. "
Kurt Braunohler
Say
They Say
Me