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" I was the cocktail waitress, and Sandra Bullock was the host, and this guy came in and persuaded me to try improv with Gotham City Improv. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Host
Me
Try
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" I always remember this neighbor who would ask me to babysit for her. She looked like Jayne Mansfield, and I remember babysitting for, like, five hours and she would pay me 80 cents, with a phony smile. I used to go home fuming to my mum. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Neighbor
Home
Smile
" There are some people who make you feel less lonely. "
Jennifer Coolidge
You
Feel
Lonely
" I was thinking, 'If I go bald, I might do something like Bret Michaels and have it all attached to a handkerchief.' "
Jennifer Coolidge
Thinking
Bald
Go
" I read a script and I know immediately whether that role is for me or not. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Role
Whether
Script
" As young, hot actors living in Hollywood, you get even more attractive. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Young
Hollywood
Hot
" I have been able to sniff out a phony. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Been
Sniff
Phony
" Short of spending $10,000, there is nothing you can do to your head to hide the fact that you're going bald. "
Jennifer Coolidge
You
Bald
Short
" There is something about a phony that creeps me out so much. "
Jennifer Coolidge
About
Something
Phony
" I always date younger men. For some reason that's just the way it's gone, because younger guys have always asked me out and I accept. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Reason
Accept
Always
" No one purposefully paints a bad painting. It's someone who's trying to do a good painting, but it's terrible. I have one with a matador, and the bull is going through the blanket. You can tell the painter didn't know how to paint it. "
Jennifer Coolidge
You
Trying
Painting
" Keri Russell is one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen in my life. She's one of those girls that doesn't have that thing when you walk into the trailer in the morning, and your face is all bashed in - like a lot of actors, even the beautiful and handsome ones. "
Jennifer Coolidge
My Life
Walk
Beautiful
" Cate Blanchett and others, they get this broad range of all these cool people they can play. Some women really do get it all. For me, it is the same thing that happens over and over. I should change that and maybe write my own thing. "
Jennifer Coolidge
People
Me
Change
" A man's ability to haggle is never a turn-on. The only thing less romantic than how much you paid is how much you saved. The last thing we want to hear is how you talked the jeweler down on our new earrings. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Want
You
Down
" I wasn't very good in my serious acting class. Sometimes people took our class so seriously, so I used to, sort of, make fun of people after class. And so a friend of mine said, 'Why don't you do the comedy thing.' That's how it all worked out. "
Jennifer Coolidge
You
Friend
Fun
" When I walk into a video arcade filled with 16- or 17-year-old boys, I may as well be Marilyn Monroe. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Video
Arcade
Filled
" There's something about me that suggests I don't have an intelligent atom in me at all. So people say things to me that they wouldn't say to other people. Insulting, condescending things. They don't think I notice. But, of course, I'm taking it all in. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Me
Say
Intelligent
" I went out with seven actors in a row. There are problems with that. I've had the really good-looking dramatic actor, and that has its problems. And then I'll go out with the funny guy. It's almost like the funny guy has more to prove. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Funny
Go
Good-Looking
" Hair extensions and wigs are not the same thing. Wigs are for old ladies and drag queens. Extensions are for women who want longer hair. To be safe, never bring it up if you think a woman is wearing either. No good comes of it. "
Jennifer Coolidge
You
Hair
Women
" It seems almost impossible to me that the whole world doesn't know CPR. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Impossible
Know
Almost
" The best thing about animated-feature people is that they are very laid-back people. You feel like you're showing up for a backyard barbecue. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Best
You
Up
" With Christopher Guest films, we have a lot of say. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Christopher
Films
Guest
" I do love to gamble; I hate to admit it. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Hate
Gamble
Admit
" I live in New Orleans part of the year, and it's a really fun eating town. I bought two homes there, one to live in and one as an investment. They love to eat, drink and dress up in costumes. There are so many reasons to dress up - Mardi Gras, Halloween, Southern Decadence. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Halloween
Love
Live
" People have this view, 'Oh, you're in movies, your life is so glamorous' but it can really suck. "
Jennifer Coolidge
Your
People
Movies