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" I would love it if you would come in and teach me how to really do you. "

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" Most of my life I didn't feel very normal. There's definitely been some moments where I feel like, all right, I've finally graduated and I'm a normal lady. "

" I have an equal opportunity womb! "

Equal Opportunity

" To have your childhood dream realized is a really big deal. "

" Before I had children, everything about my life was devoted to Saturday Night Live. "

" I was a loud child, and if my mother sang to me, I would be quiet. "

" I like comedy as a group sport. "

" If my time with my kids is shorter than it was yesterday, it's better than nothing. "

" I feel like I'm a drag queen. "

" I don't know if comedy is a male sport. I always wondered that. "

" I really love laughing. "

" I never thought I'd get a chance to do what I'm doing. It's such a dream. "

" I still have a fantasy of being a musician when I grow up. "

" I get anxious. That lovely Jewish guilt that comes with ancestry. "

" To grow up with the loss of your mother is a scar that never goes away. "

" You don't want to be the first person to tell your 5-year-old, like, 'You're going to have a life filled with disappointments and letdowns - enjoy!' "

" I think that people who don't like kids are awful people. "

" No, no, no. Your accent is so beautiful. "

" I've never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don't really have a choice in the matter. My goal is just to be funny. "

" I've been writing joke songs since I was a kid and it served me well at S.N.L. I can write those in my sleep. In fact, I have. "

" Without a doubt in sketch comedy there are fewer women than men. "

" I've met people who are baffled by children, as though they were never children themselves. "

" There are days when I wonder why my mom couldn't be here to see this. "

" I feel like I come from a smaller off shoot of black people because I am mixed. People say I'm African American but that doesn't include the other half of me. "

" I learned the enormous power of writing for yourself, especially now that people seem to be receptive to the fact that women can write. "