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" I'd worked for the 'Dallas Times Herald' for ten years, and its death was a kick in the gut the like of which I cannot recall ever having experienced. "

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" I think provincialism is an endemic characteristic with mankind, I think everybody everywhere is provincial, but it is particularly striking with Texans, and we tend to be very Texcentric. "

" The uproar of the late '60s - the antiwar movement, black riots, angry women. It was a wonderful time. "

" Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. "

" The reason there is no noblesse oblige about Dubya is because he doesn't admit to himself or anyone else that he owes his entire life to being named George W. Bush. He didn't just get a head start by being his father's son - it remained the single most salient fact about him for most of his life. "

" The most unusual thing about Clinton as a pol is that he listens. Listens and remembers. If he does dance with them that brung him, not them that gave him big money, we will have a populist on our hands. "

" Arkansas, the state Bill Clinton loves and that loves him back, is a place with just no pretension at all. "

" The greatest moral leader of my lifetime was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., whose private life does not bear close examination. "

" Jimmy Carter was unquestionably the most moral president of my lifetime, but he wasn't much of a president. "

" There's been a lot of experience with torture in history. It doesn't work. "

" The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion. "

" Being slightly paranoid is like being slightly pregnant - it tends to get worse. "

" I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel - it's vulgar. "

" Satire is a weapon, and it can be quite cruel. "

" I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious. "

" In Congress, there are some who are unashamed to aspire to eloquence, even to scholarship, but the only state legislator I ever knew who would not join in the mispronounceciation of a word for the sake of camaraderie with her fellows was former State Senator and Congresswoman Barbara Jordan. "

" I have known George W. Bush slightly since we were both in high school, and I studied him closely as governor. He is neither mean nor stupid. What we have here is a man shaped by three intertwining strands of Texas culture, combined with huge blinkers of class. The three Texas themes are religiosity, anti-intellectualism, and machismo. "

" We need to reform the political system, or we'll lose the democracy. I don't think it's that hard. It doesn't take rocket science. We've done it before successfully at the presidential level and tried it several places at the state level. "

" One nice thing about the benefit of long experience with la frontera is that we in Texas don't have to run around getting all hysterical about immigrants. The border is porous. When you want cheap labor, you open it up; when you don't, you shut it down. It works to our benefit - it always has. "

" Those who imagine polygamy to be handy cover for promiscuity are apparently off the mark. If polygamists share one quality, it is that, polygamy aside, they are extraordinarily strait-laced. "

" The Federal Reserve system obviously doesn't work anymore - they keep lowering the federal discount rate, and all that happens is that the banks are making a fortune, and the old folks' CDs are getting chewed up. "

" I saw a shrink because I thought I suffered from fear of success. "

" There is more hooey spread about the Second Amendment. It says quite clearly that guns are for those who form part of a well-regulated militia, i.e., the armed forces including the National Guard. The reasons for keeping them away from everyone else get clearer by the day. "

" There is never anyone quite so wonderful as the people who were seniors when you were a freshman. "

" Rove, of course, is an exceptionally good, exceptionally skillful campaign guy, and Bush himself is really gifted at the political end of politics. But he's always been, as he says, misunderestimated. "

" I don't have any children, so I've decided to claim all the future freedom-fighters and hell-raisers as my kin. "

" I've said it before: War brings out the patriotic bullies. In World War I, they went around kicking dachshunds on the grounds that dachshunds were 'German dogs.' They did not, however, go around kicking German shepherds. "

" I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part and discuss it only with consenting adults. "

" Behind a smoke screen of high-profile female appointees and soothing slogans, George W. Bush is waging war on women. "

" Anyone who has ever spent time listening to a legislature knows the astonishing speed at which all presiding officers and reading clerks can spit out the formulaic incantations of parliamentary procedure. "

" The Kurds will not be allowed to have an independent country because Turkey wouldn't stand for it; they have their own Kurdish population. "