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" If you write fiction, you have to love your characters. It's like your family. You don't have to like them, but you have to love them. "

Douglas Coupland

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" Everyone should have a tailor. David Wilkes, the guy who does my stuff, is like, 'Well you're a writer - do you want a special pen compartment or something?' Bespoke: That's the term you want to get out there. "

Douglas Coupland

" The universe hands you opportunities for a while, and if you don't take them, the universe says to itself, 'Oh I see, this person doesn't like opportunities' and stops giving them to you. "

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" It's weird when people start sentences with 'frankly' - as if their other sentences don't count. "

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" I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.' "

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" I'm a visual thinker. Research tells us that only 20 per cent of people think visually. So what about the other 80 per cent? Don't they think in pictures? I mean if you imagine washing and preparing potatoes you visualise the process, right? "

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" If someone decides to be a musician now, it means because there is no hope of money at the end of it, it means they really want to be a musician. And if someone is writing now, there is no hope for money at the end of it. "

Douglas Coupland

" You can only fall in love six times in your life. Choose wisely. "

Douglas Coupland

" I love working out how things are made, which is why I have so many models of towers. "

Douglas Coupland

" A vast percentage of the human race is literally not wired neurologically to get irony. Well more than half of humanity takes life at face value, which is to me terrifying. "

Douglas Coupland

" Fashion only seems to make sense if it's rooted in some dimension of history or if it feels like a continuation of an idea. "

Douglas Coupland

" I miss the silliness of the Nineties. What would society be like if 9/11 never happened? If that silliness was extended forever? "

Douglas Coupland

" You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal. "

Douglas Coupland

" If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal. "

Douglas Coupland

" It's a cliche, but true, that writing is intensely solitary and at times really lonely. I sit in one room and talk to squirrels and blue jays all day. "

Douglas Coupland

" Who wants to talk on the phone? If you want to talk to me, text me. Or if we must, let's meet in person. "

Douglas Coupland

" For whatever reason, I tend to get reporters who are maybe in the middle of intense therapy, and they turn what's supposed to be a professional interview into therapy for themselves. "

Douglas Coupland

" Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky. "

Douglas Coupland

" Salad bars are like a restaurant's lungs. They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the environment, leaving you with much cleaner air to enjoy. "

Douglas Coupland

" I'm not a hoarder, I'm a collector: if you have something you like, every time you see it, you have a little happy hit. "

Douglas Coupland

" When you crop the photo, you tell a lie. "

Douglas Coupland

" Clowns drink to blot out the ravages of terrifying children for a living. "

Douglas Coupland

" Data transmission is no longer something scary you don't want in your backyard. Now you want it directly in front of your house. "

Douglas Coupland

" If you're not a tree hugger, then you're a what, a tree hater? "

Douglas Coupland

" In 2008 we came perilously close to killing money, exposing in the process how out of date money's infrastructure has become. "

Douglas Coupland

" I'm starting to wonder if pop culture is in its dying days, because everyone is able to customize their own lives with the images they want to see and the words they want to read and the music they listen to. You don't have the broader trends like you used to. "

Douglas Coupland

" People will always choose more money over more sex. "

Douglas Coupland

" The real killers in the business world aren't the ones who aim for the top, it's the ones who aim for two notches below the top. "

Douglas Coupland

" TV didn't kill radio, it just added something new to the mix. "

Douglas Coupland

" I find it hard to believe that human beings are the crowning achievement of life on earth. Something better than us has to come along. "

Douglas Coupland

" If I don't learn something new every year, I go crazy. "

Douglas Coupland