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" You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal. "
Douglas Coupland
Competence
Creativity
You
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" Sometimes failure isn't an opportunity in disguise, it's just you. "
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" Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky. "
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" Everyone wants to share what he or she has learned with someone who really cares. "
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" The reason the future feels odd is because of its unpredictability. If the future didn't feel weirdly unexpected, then something would be wrong. "
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Feel
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" New York is a theme park for people with IQs over 108. "
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" In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich. "
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Future
Rich
Will
" Being asked what animal you'd like to be is a trick question; you're already an animal. "
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Trick
Question
Like
" We need to be around our families not because we have so many shared experiences to talk about, but instead because they know precisely which subjects to avoid. "
Douglas Coupland
Need
Know
Avoid
" One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do. "
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Person
You
Things
" Figure out what it is in life you don't do well, and then don't do it. "
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Out
Then
You
" The urge to reincarnate while still alive is near universal. "
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Near
Alive
Still
" I get verklempt if I see a vintage TI-30 or TI-54 calculator. But I don't think I'd want to use one. "
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I See
Get
Want
" Before machines the only form of entertainment people really had was relationships. "
Douglas Coupland
Relationships
Had
Relationship
" I grew up with three brothers, so nearly everything I had was destroyed or made fun of. "
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Fun
Everything
Brothers
" The thing with bookshelves, no matter how many you have, you always fill them. "
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Matter
Many
Fill
" Self-delusion is one of the funniest things there is. "
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Funniest
Things
Self-Delusion
" Writing is largely about time, while visual art is largely about space. "
Douglas Coupland
About
Writing
Visual
" I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.' "
Douglas Coupland
Point
Future
Three
" Headwise, I always kind of knew that everyone goes grey in our family very early - and I was like, it works for me. I started growing my beard, and it changes the shape of your skull and your face, and I started seeing my mother's side of the family in myself for the first time. "
Douglas Coupland
Face
Family
Me
" Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin. "
Douglas Coupland
Natural
Forget
Long
" Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value. "
Douglas Coupland
Face
World
Value
" Star Trek characters never go shopping. "
Douglas Coupland
Characters
Star
Shopping
" I think Americans are weirdly puritanistic about psychopharmaceuticals. There are millions of people out there who would otherwise be dead or rocking by themselves in a corner who now lead full and normal lives because of amazing and wonderful scientific advances. "
Douglas Coupland
Lead
Dead
Amazing
" Characters in a book are very much like personalities divvied up within a family. In the end, it all averages out to a sort of overall averageness. "
Douglas Coupland
Family
Book
End
" Fate is for losers. "
Douglas Coupland
Losers
Fate
" The person who needs the other person the least in a relationship is the stronger member. "
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Other
Relationship
Person
" I like doing radio because it's so intimate. The moment people hear your voice, you're inside there heads, not only that, you're in there laying eggs. "
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Moment
Doing
You
" For whatever reason, I tend to get reporters who are maybe in the middle of intense therapy, and they turn what's supposed to be a professional interview into therapy for themselves. "
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Professional
Reason
Therapy
" Depression is when you have lots of love, but no one's taking. "
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Love
Lots
Depression
" Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time. "
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Free
Time
Too Much