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" I'll go in a minute to see a sketch show. "
Fred Willard
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" I have a guy who does my hair. He's a car nut. And he was taking motorcycle lessons. And, what was my point? "
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" As an actor, and as you get to a certain level... and it's pilot season and you read the trades, you could have a nervous breakdown. 'So-and-so's signed for a pilot. Why aren't I?' "
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" I love sketch; it's my favorite form. But if it's all improv, they're either very good, and it's annoying how good they are, and it makes you feel bad, or they're not too good; then you're sweating for them. "
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" It's not a bad typecast: the goofy guy. "
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" I once was in a project. They were going to do a remake. Somebody started a rumor I wanted more money. I said, 'This is ridiculous. I'd kill for this project!' "
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" I have always been more relaxed around comedy. "
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" If I have to play an obnoxious character, try to find a redeeming feature of him. The most obnoxious people in the world were people, and they had had a reason for doing what they did. So you try to find that and let the obnoxiousness come out. "
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" My first improv was Second City in Chicago. Before that, I worked at - with a partner, doing comedy sketches. "
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" If you're going to take a risk as a comic, make sure it's surrounded by other things that you're certain are funny. "
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You
Funny
Going
" In most cities, it doesn't cost much to put your own show on a local access channel, so you get all sorts of strange stuff on the air. "
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Own
Air
Strange
" I guess if you're a professional mascot, you're doing it for the money, but a college mascot just wants to be out there. "
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You
Professional
Money
" It's more fun in a way to do ensemble scenes, where you know your background, you know the scene, but you can't prepare because someone else is going to say something that is going to lead you off. "
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Say
Someone
You
" God bless Chris Guest... and I mean it sincerely. "
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God
Bless
Mean
" I guess it's from going to Virginia Military Institute. I'm a good person to follow orders. "
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Follow
Person
Good Person
" If you're not doing something right, you can feel it on stage, and if it isn't going well, the audience will tell you. A teacher can teach you sense memory and this and that, but until you get in front of an audience, you don't really feel it. "
Fred Willard
You
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Feel
" I did a show called 'Lois & Clark' - it was about Superman - years ago. They wanted someone to play the president of the United States. The plot was the president got kidnapped by a group, and they made a clone of him, who was very irresponsible and silly. "
Fred Willard
Silly
Someone
Group
" I've never crossed over to be a big star. I'd like to be in a big $100 million movie, though. 'Cause I was in an 'Austin Powers,' I think I had two lines, and every once in a while, I get a check, a really nice check, for that movie. "
Fred Willard
Nice
Star
Two
" It's such a pleasure to work in these movies, it's almost like it's not really happening. "
Fred Willard
Movies
Work
Almost
" Some of the Christopher Guest movies, when I'm not really like myself, when I have my hair dyed blonde or had a faux-hawk haircut. Those I like to watch because it takes you away from your real self. "
Fred Willard
You
Hair
Haircut
" Comedy relieves you. A lot of times, we think we're the only people bothered by certain things. Then you hear a comic say, 'Don't you hate it when...' And it's, 'Oh, my God! Of course!' "
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God
Think
You
" I've always wanted to be on a soap opera. "
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Wanted
Soap
Opera
" Let me say this: I have said, any time, if it's Martin Mull, I will say yes. If it's Christopher Guest, I will say yes. "
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Time
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" I think my wife saw a picture of the rock group Journey, and they're kind of aging, and the one guy had dyed blonde hair with black roots, and... my idea was to get a little earring, I wanted to have a dangling earring. "
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" The 'Tim And Eric' experience was very strange. "
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" I have great respect for the authorities. "
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Great Respect
Respect
Great
" I still think 'Texas Chain Saw Massacre' was what they call one of those watershed movies. That and 'The Exorcist' and 'Psycho' were just landmarks for those horror films. "
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Movies
Psycho
" How can we say any one actor's work was better than another's? "
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How
Better
Actor
" If I like a movie, I see no reason not to go back for Parts 2, 3, 4, etc. "
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I See
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Reason
" Martin Landau in 'Crimes and Misdemeanors' - he gave me chills. "
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He
Martin
Gave
" 'Field of Dreams.' Definitely one of the best baseball films of all time. When Kevin Costner spoke to his dad, and his dad answered, I, um, I mean a lot of guys I know couldn't help crying. "
Fred Willard
Dreams
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Know