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" Some of the Christopher Guest movies, when I'm not really like myself, when I have my hair dyed blonde or had a faux-hawk haircut. Those I like to watch because it takes you away from your real self. "

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" Bob Balaban is so perfect that the first movie I did with him, I couldn't talk to him because I was so intimidated by him. "

Fred Willard

Talk

Perfect

Because

" I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as realistically as you can. If you try to act it funny and accent the funny points, or do it in a funny style, you kind of lose it. "

" I am re-collecting the baseball cards my mom had thrown out when I went away to school. You know you are an adult when you can buy a whole set of baseball cards instead of two packs at a time. "

" Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. "

Fred Willard

Pirate

Got

" When we need a policeman, God bless 'em, they're there. But, if you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, everything seems suspicious. "

" I never think I'm old enough to play someone's dad, even though I have a daughter of my own and a grandson. "

" Comedy relieves you. A lot of times, we think we're the only people bothered by certain things. Then you hear a comic say, 'Don't you hate it when...' And it's, 'Oh, my God! Of course!' "

" That's always a funny thing, when people think they're known for every little thing they ever did, and they're really not. "

" Comedy always came easier for me. But I would have loved to have been an action hero. "

Fred Willard

Hero

Comedy

" I did a show called 'Lois & Clark' - it was about Superman - years ago. They wanted someone to play the president of the United States. The plot was the president got kidnapped by a group, and they made a clone of him, who was very irresponsible and silly. "

" I've never crossed over to be a big star. I'd like to be in a big $100 million movie, though. 'Cause I was in an 'Austin Powers,' I think I had two lines, and every once in a while, I get a check, a really nice check, for that movie. "

" After working with Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie, and Jonathan Mangum, I said, 'I am never going to talk about improv again.' "

" There's different kinds of improv. There's Second City improv where you try to slowly build a nice sketch. There's stuff you do in college coffee houses where you just go joke, joke, joke. Bring another funny character with a funny hat on his head. Christopher Guest is more the line of trying to get a story out. "

" If you're not doing something right, you can feel it on stage, and if it isn't going well, the audience will tell you. A teacher can teach you sense memory and this and that, but until you get in front of an audience, you don't really feel it. "

" One of the great things about kids is they haven't heard a lot of the old jokes. You can get away with the corny ones. "

" I like to play the guy that has no self-awareness. "

Fred Willard

Guy

Play

" Martin Landau in 'Crimes and Misdemeanors' - he gave me chills. "

Fred Willard

Martin

Gave

" I just love everything that Disney and Pixar do. Not only do they do beautiful films, but they have great messages for kids. "

" When you think about accountants, who would want to be an accountant? But, what would we do without accountants? Whether it's soldiers or garbage men or doctors, everyone has the thing that they love. "

" I never got any advice in acting. "

" The 'Tim And Eric' experience was very strange. "

" I really enjoy working on 'Modern Family.' "

" I don't know why my lines that were cut from the film didn't make it onto the DVD. I have offered to go into the editing room with Christopher and work shoulder to shoulder with him to fit all my lines in. I think he thinks I'm kidding. I'm only trying to help. "

" To a New Yorker, a 1948 Indians World Series baseball signed by the whole team might be worth only $200 to $300, but to a Clevelander like myself, it might be, like, $1,000 to $2,000. "

" If I like a movie, I see no reason not to go back for Parts 2, 3, 4, etc. "

" Comedy is harder, because if there's no laughs, it's pretty bad. But drama, if there's no reaction, you can say, 'Well, it's not their cup of tea. Maybe it's too heavy for the audience.' "

" It's not a bad typecast: the goofy guy. "

" My first improv was Second City in Chicago. Before that, I worked at - with a partner, doing comedy sketches. "

" I used to collect autographs outside of the old Cleveland Stadium. I can still remember everyone who took the time and spent a few minutes to make your day. That sticks with you. "

" I saw the 'Wizard of Oz' recently and realized that, all my life, I thought they were real monkeys with wings. That's how scary that movie was for me. "