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" I've never crossed over to be a big star. I'd like to be in a big $100 million movie, though. 'Cause I was in an 'Austin Powers,' I think I had two lines, and every once in a while, I get a check, a really nice check, for that movie. "

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" My father passed away when I was 12, so it was very difficult. But I was always the class clown. I don't know why - maybe as an escape. But then I was sent away to military prep school. "

Fred Willard

Why

Clown

Escape

" I'll go in a minute to see a sketch show. "

Fred Willard

Show

See

" Because I started my career in improv, performing with Second City and the Ace Trucking Company, I always enjoy being in situations where - as an actor - you have to think fast & be light on your feet. "

" I've always wanted to be on a soap opera. "

" I have a guy who does my hair. He's a car nut. And he was taking motorcycle lessons. And, what was my point? "

" To a New Yorker, a 1948 Indians World Series baseball signed by the whole team might be worth only $200 to $300, but to a Clevelander like myself, it might be, like, $1,000 to $2,000. "

" After working with Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie, and Jonathan Mangum, I said, 'I am never going to talk about improv again.' "

" Someone I've always admired is Catherine O'Hara... I think she's one of the best actresses in the country, not only comedy. I just think she's just a step aside from everybody, she's just wonderful. "

" When you think about accountants, who would want to be an accountant? But, what would we do without accountants? Whether it's soldiers or garbage men or doctors, everyone has the thing that they love. "

" Christopher Guest, he'll call and say, 'We're doing this movie, and I'd like you to play _' and he gives you the character, then I always like to enlarge on the character. "

" Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. "

Fred Willard

Pirate

Got

" If I like a movie, I see no reason not to go back for Parts 2, 3, 4, etc. "

" If you're not doing something right, you can feel it on stage, and if it isn't going well, the audience will tell you. A teacher can teach you sense memory and this and that, but until you get in front of an audience, you don't really feel it. "

" I have great respect for the authorities. "

" I did a show called 'Lois & Clark' - it was about Superman - years ago. They wanted someone to play the president of the United States. The plot was the president got kidnapped by a group, and they made a clone of him, who was very irresponsible and silly. "

" One of the great things about kids is they haven't heard a lot of the old jokes. You can get away with the corny ones. "

" If I have to play an obnoxious character, try to find a redeeming feature of him. The most obnoxious people in the world were people, and they had had a reason for doing what they did. So you try to find that and let the obnoxiousness come out. "

" There's different kinds of improv. There's Second City improv where you try to slowly build a nice sketch. There's stuff you do in college coffee houses where you just go joke, joke, joke. Bring another funny character with a funny hat on his head. Christopher Guest is more the line of trying to get a story out. "

" That's always a funny thing, when people think they're known for every little thing they ever did, and they're really not. "

" I never got any advice in acting. "

" I really enjoy working on 'Modern Family.' "

" It's more fun in a way to do ensemble scenes, where you know your background, you know the scene, but you can't prepare because someone else is going to say something that is going to lead you off. "

" Comedy relieves you. A lot of times, we think we're the only people bothered by certain things. Then you hear a comic say, 'Don't you hate it when...' And it's, 'Oh, my God! Of course!' "

" One of the first shows I ever did was 'Laverne & Shirley.' I played this sleazy guy that came into town with a friend and was going to date Laverne and Shirley, but we really wanted to get into the bowling alley because it was next to the bank we wanted to rob. "

" If you're going to take a risk as a comic, make sure it's surrounded by other things that you're certain are funny. "

" I guess the essence of my comedy is to get into a very abnormal situation but act like it's normal. "

" I think everyone has a door in their brain that says, 'Do not exit here.' If you go past it, you'll find all the dumb thoughts in there, all the stupid things that shouldn't be said. I've probably gone there more than anyone should in a given lifetime. "

" I don't know why my lines that were cut from the film didn't make it onto the DVD. I have offered to go into the editing room with Christopher and work shoulder to shoulder with him to fit all my lines in. I think he thinks I'm kidding. I'm only trying to help. "

" I love working with Ty Burrell. "

" I once was in a project. They were going to do a remake. Somebody started a rumor I wanted more money. I said, 'This is ridiculous. I'd kill for this project!' "

Fred Willard

Project

Money