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" I'll tell you, nobody was more excited than me, in the entire world, that there is a 'Silicon Valley' Funko set. "
Kumail Nanjiani
World
Me
Nobody
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" I remember my jaw would hurt because I wasn't used to speaking English all the time. Like how, even if you exercise, you'll play kickball one day, and then you're like, 'Wait, I run, but new places are hurting because I don't use my muscles this way.' My mouth was not used to making these sounds. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Run
Exercise
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" 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' is one of my favorite movies, and I laugh all the time, and I cry during the one funeral. But I'll say that 'Monsters, Inc.' is a movie that really gets me super-emotional. Especially the ending. "
Kumail Nanjiani
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" The plan was always to come to America, because Pakistan's a scary place. They don't have religious freedom. It's very poor, and there's a lot of violence and corruption. "
Kumail Nanjiani
America
Freedom
Corruption
" If you do a sketch, that's a very short narrative. Stand-up, it's bit-to-bit, minute-long narratives. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Sketch
Short
Narrative
" I'm still trying to figure out how to have an adult relationship with my parents. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Relationship
Parents
Out
" My parents don't really understand my career. They don't really bring it up that much. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Up
Understand
Parents
" When generally people make race-based jokes to me - even if they're not technically racist, they're sort of based on me being Pakistani or whatever - on Twitter, you know, I block a lot of people who say something weird about my name or something. It does bug me generally, but it is all about context. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Me
You
Weird
" I want to be so famous that I'm the pop-culture reference that people would make to try and be racist to me. So I'd be walking down the street, and someone would be, like, 'Hey, look at this Kumail Nanjiani.' "
Kumail Nanjiani
Me
People
Walking
" I used to like to come up with inventions because I hated working so much when I had my day job. I thought, 'All I need is a great idea, and I'm out of here.' "
Kumail Nanjiani
Day
Great
Thought
" I started a podcast about 'X-Files' and ended up on it. Then I started a podcast about video games, and I'm in the new 'Mass Effect' game. I have to pick the stuff I love and do a podcast on it. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Love
Video Games
Game
" I didn't know if I could be funny on stage or write a joke. But I saw that there are no rules. If you're funny offstage, you can figure out a way to be funny onstage. "
Kumail Nanjiani
You
Way
Stage
" I'm a massive rom-com head! Like, every rom-com in the '90s and early 2000s, I've watched. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Every
Early
Head
" There was one week where I got mistaken for Hasan Minhaj, who is on 'The Daily Show;' Kunal Nayyar, who's on 'Big Bang Theory;' and Karan Soni of 'Ghostbusters.' This was one week. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Theory
Big
Daily
" A lot of times, it seems like social media has devolved into people just yelling at each other and not really conversing. "
Kumail Nanjiani
People
Like
Just
" Studio execs were like, ''Lord of the Rings!' People want to see sword-and-dragon-type things!' No, people just want to see great stories. Hollywood always takes the wrong lesson from successes. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Hollywood
Want
People
" Nobody really knows what they're doing. Some are just better at pretending like they do. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Pretending
Nobody
Like
" I stay home. It's the best place to be alone. There is hardly any walk-through traffic. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Traffic
Home
Best
" I never decided I wanted to be an actor. I just started doing standup because I love standup. Everything else has sort of been these tiny steps leading to this. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Doing
Never
Love
" Populate your life with people different from you. Once you leave school, you get to choose the kinds of people you're going to be around rather than forced to be around them. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Life
People
Choose
" I love, love, love the street-cart food. Gyros are like a meat-flavored fruit roll-up. A meat roll-up. "
Kumail Nanjiani
I Love
Fruit
Like
" When I was studying comedy in Chicago, it wasn't long after 9/11. There were a lot Middle Eastern comedians who were doing bits about hailing cabs and being terrorists. So the first two years, I didn't do any of that because I wanted to separate myself from those guys. But race is a big part of who I am, and it should be a big part of my comedy. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Comedy
Doing
I Am
" Rom-coms have been one of my favorite genres of movies since I can remember. My favorite movie of all-time is 'Four Weddings and a Funeral,' and then 'When Harry Met Sally,' and 'Annie Hall' is top five. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Movies
Four
Five
" I don't want to generalize, but the target audience for a lot of the YouTube people is fairly young - under the age of 16. You still want to know what those people are watching, because I think it's interesting, but sometimes it just makes you feel old. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Interesting
Think
People
" Honestly, I would love to be friends with Fox Mulder on 'The X-Files.' That's almost a little too obvious, but that would be my answer. I'd love to hang out with him. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Hang
Love
Answer
" In popular culture, there isn't any other conception of Islam and Muslims other than what you see on the news... When you go to a theme park, you see Muslims riding roller coasters and eating ice cream. Why doesn't anybody think of those Muslims when they think of Muslims? "
Kumail Nanjiani
Think
You
Culture
" I've always played some version of a nerdy guy or something like that. I mean, one of my story lines on 'Silicon Valley' is that I am very bad with women! "
Kumail Nanjiani
Story
Women
Bad
" Stand-up is successful if they laugh. It's unsuccessful if they don't laugh. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Laugh
Unsuccessful
Successful
" Living in Pakistan, you didn't have a sense of how huge and varied America was geographically. I had visited once. I thought of it as this crazy, happy, exciting place where everybody's rich, and there's stuff everywhere. Compared to Pakistan, it's not untrue. Compared to Pakistan, the streets are paved with gold. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Rich
Thought
Happy
" You really need to have that discipline. It's not even discipline. I just put down these rules. It's not like a vague, 'Motivate yourself!' and do something. It's specific hours set aside every day for certain things. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Day
Rules
Discipline
" I moved to New York first and was really apprehensive about moving to L.A., but I really, really like it. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Like
Moving
New