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" I'm a very jaded and cynical person. "

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" April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags. "

" This may come as a surprise, given the nature of my job, but I am very guarded and contemplative. I'm not a naturally boisterous person. "

" You take a vacation to a place like Thailand and you're ready for the excitement of something new and foreign. But when you're working 14-hour days, all you want is something familiar to ground you. And there's just nothing there. "