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" I'm in my 10th generation of TV critic now. "

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" Your performance gets you promoted. It doesn't matter if you're brown, back or white. "

" Perhaps areas of Israel where current large Palestinian populations and demographic realities exist could be exchanged for Israeli expansion into the West Bank to include most of East Jerusalem. "

" Rich people who own mansions on the beach shouldn't get federal subsidies. If you want to stay there, take the risk. "

" It's a great pleasure having survived six generations of TV critics. "

" I'd work to make it hip again to spend time in our fabled and fabulous land. But with a Puerto Rican father and a Jewish mother, I would probably be better suited as mayor of New York. "

" This is the year of Katrina and Iraq. How the war ends is more important than how it began. However you feel about the war, you have to be compassionate and loving towards our troops. "

" Extol Jewish virtue, modern Zionism and the Israeli Defense Forces. "

" Saturday Night Live is hitting me on a regular basis again. This is my fourth decade that I've been lampooned on Saturday Night Live. "

" Reject racial or religious hate. Embrace moderate Islam. "

" I'm tired of getting made fun of. "

" I'm old, but I'm still cute and strong. And very butch. "

" Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. "

" The biggest stories in 2005 were the national disasters. "

" There's no way New Orleans will ever be the city it was. I think it will have half the population. They may create a sort of Disneyland at the French Quarter for tourists. The rest I don't know. "

" To see those babies with no food for three of four days, old people sitting in the hot sun, when you see these poor people, you cannot help but being compassionate or affected. "

" The courage in journalism is sticking up for the unpopular, not the popular. "

" I am enduring. You can disagree with me. "

" The elite media has been caught in so many lies because of false statements that its whole reputation has eroded, their circulation is down, and their profits are down. "

" Mother Nature may be forgiving this year, or next year, but eventually she's going to come around and whack you. You've got to be prepared. "

" I must be doing something right. I've been around for a long time. "

" I'd like to give divorce a good name. "

" Give Hamas 90 days to pick a lane, then react. "

" The real Michael Jackson that has not been seen... with children, one in diapers, the other two toddlers. "

" When a Spanish man cries it's not a sign of weakness. "

" I speak Spanish to my children and they speak it better than me. "

" With years of experience doing whatever it takes to get to the bottom of each story, I am looking forward to covering the stories in the human dimension and impart the passion and visceral reactions the audience seeks. "

" I've made a connection with the television audience by being a proud Latino man. I am passionate for what I do, courageous in the face of peril, honest and straightforward. "

" Jackson and I spent the day together, just me and him and his children. Little underlings came and went. The PR person came and went. It was just Michael and me and the kids. And it was very interesting. "

" I think of myself as Special Forces, clearing the path for the infantry. "