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" Saturday Night Live is hitting me on a regular basis again. This is my fourth decade that I've been lampooned on Saturday Night Live. "

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" I must be doing something right. I've been around for a long time. "

" Rich people who own mansions on the beach shouldn't get federal subsidies. If you want to stay there, take the risk. "

" The biggest stories in 2005 were the national disasters. "

" Mother Nature may be forgiving this year, or next year, but eventually she's going to come around and whack you. You've got to be prepared. "

" This is the year of Katrina and Iraq. How the war ends is more important than how it began. However you feel about the war, you have to be compassionate and loving towards our troops. "

" The courage in journalism is sticking up for the unpopular, not the popular. "

" I'm in my 10th generation of TV critic now. "

" When a Spanish man cries it's not a sign of weakness. "

" Reject racial or religious hate. Embrace moderate Islam. "

" With years of experience doing whatever it takes to get to the bottom of each story, I am looking forward to covering the stories in the human dimension and impart the passion and visceral reactions the audience seeks. "

" One thing about these storms, we know how disruptive things can be when we depend on the system to keep working. What would happen if the terrorists do it? Knock down the power, destroy bridges, cut the water supply? "

" Perhaps areas of Israel where current large Palestinian populations and demographic realities exist could be exchanged for Israeli expansion into the West Bank to include most of East Jerusalem. "

" The elite media has been caught in so many lies because of false statements that its whole reputation has eroded, their circulation is down, and their profits are down. "

" Extol Jewish virtue, modern Zionism and the Israeli Defense Forces. "

" It's a great pleasure having survived six generations of TV critics. "

" I'm old, but I'm still cute and strong. And very butch. "

" I'd like to give divorce a good name. "

" I'd work to make it hip again to spend time in our fabled and fabulous land. But with a Puerto Rican father and a Jewish mother, I would probably be better suited as mayor of New York. "

" To see those babies with no food for three of four days, old people sitting in the hot sun, when you see these poor people, you cannot help but being compassionate or affected. "

" Your performance gets you promoted. It doesn't matter if you're brown, back or white. "

" I am enduring. You can disagree with me. "

" Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. "

" Give Hamas 90 days to pick a lane, then react. "

" I think of myself as Special Forces, clearing the path for the infantry. "

" Jackson and I spent the day together, just me and him and his children. Little underlings came and went. The PR person came and went. It was just Michael and me and the kids. And it was very interesting. "

" There's no way New Orleans will ever be the city it was. I think it will have half the population. They may create a sort of Disneyland at the French Quarter for tourists. The rest I don't know. "

" I speak Spanish to my children and they speak it better than me. "

" The real Michael Jackson that has not been seen... with children, one in diapers, the other two toddlers. "

" I'm tired of getting made fun of. "