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" I'm not a star, and I don't want to be a star. Stars fall. I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job. "

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" I hate to compare anything, especially while I'm promoting. I feel that's another disrespect, but 'Ocean's 13' is the best movie I've ever done in my life. No question. "

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" I'm so black, I leave fingerprints on coal. "

" I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson. "

" I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun. "

" I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy, I will do it. But whatever the joke needs at that particular time, is where I'm dedicated to. I'm not into beating somebody down and beating myself up. I don't do insults and things like that. I don't do it - I'm a storyteller. "

" I don't have no story. Everybody wants this Hollywood story, but the world don't owe you nothing, man. It's what you owe the world. "

" I don't ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot. "

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" There's no success story. Everybody's got a ghetto story. You always want to make it bigger than what it is. "

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Police Officers

" I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown. "

" When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it. I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je'Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up. "

" I've always been a reserved cat. When I play sports, there's people used to get mad at me because I didn't hang out and things like that. I've never been that kind of person. Nothing has changed in that regard. I've never been posse, and all that. I'm a quiet storm. "