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" In case of a thunderstorm, stand in the middle of the fairway and hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron. "

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" You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. "

" Pressure is when you play for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket. "

" Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky. "

" I love watching Anthony Kim play, but I'm not a fan of the way he grips down a good two inches on his full-swing shots. Choking down lightens the club's swing weight and effectively makes the shaft stiffer. It also makes it difficult to hit the ball high enough for all situations. "

" When you're poor, you know nothing about the future, you know nothing about the world, nothing that goes on outside 300 yards around you. "

" Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket. "

" Golf isn't just my business, it's my hobby. "

" You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen. "

" I stay away from the telephone if at all possible. "

" Chi Chi Rodriguez had as good a pair of hands as anybody I ever saw, and more shots than you can imagine. But Chi Chi had a habit of turning simple shots into difficult ones. "

" I always loved hitting a low fade to a back-right pin with the wind howling from the right. Not many guys could get it close in that situation, because they kept it low by just putting the ball back in their stance. You see, playing the ball back turns you into a one-trick pony - you can only hit hooks. "

" I never think of yesterday. Can't do anything about it. I'm a positive guy. When you really deep down look at it, we go to bed every night, get up every morning, stay here for 70 or 80 years, and then we die. "

" Every shot feels like the first shot of the day. If I'm on the range hitting shot after shot, I can hit them just as good as I did when I was 30. But out on the course, your body changes between shots. You get out of the cart, and you've got this 170-yard 5-iron over a bunker, and it goes about 138. "

" There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls. "

" You can't teach passion. You can teach everything else. "

" If your concentration is getting bad, take up bass fishing. It will really improve your ability to focus. If you aren't ready when that fish hits, you can't set the hook. "

" Sure, I've felt racism. I think everybody has prejudice. When I was growing up, the dark Mexican kids weren't allowed in the public swimming pool in Dallas. My light-skinned friend got in, and he laughed at us. It didn't seem like a big deal, because we didn't know any different. So I never ran into anything that actually scarred me. "

" Green synthetic practice mats are the worst thing for your golf game that I know of. You can hit six inches behind the ball and not even know it, because the ball still gets airborne. Practice nets are awful, too. Swing a weighted club instead. "

" I remember the first time going to St. Jude. I didn't like going there because the children were ill, and it just broke my heart. It makes you test your religion when you see something like that. But the Lord doesn't want just old people. You know, He wants some young people, too, and good people. He takes care of them. He takes care of them. "

" I adore the game of golf. I won't ever retire. "

" If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron. "

" My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years. "

" I still sweat. My guts are still grinding out there. Sometimes I have enough cotton in my mouth to knit a sweater. "

" I believe in reincarnation. In my last life I was a peasant. Next time around, I'd like to be an eagle. Who hasn't dreamed they could fly? They're a protected species, too. "