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" It became the joke of the neighbourhood. If the umpire ruled me out on a bad call, I'd take the fake eye out and hand it to him. "

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" I've been there a thousand years, and I never felt comfortable. Beverly Hills - when I first saw it, I thought they put it up this morning. You got to pack water to get to the drugstore. "

" I do figure every angle of a guy I'm acting - but not consciously 'til afterward. "

" The female body is awesome. "

" What's the name of that famous museum in Paris? The Louvre? I went through that place in 20 minutes. "

" Along came a police lieutenant named Columbo, and my life would never be the same. "

" They wouldn't take me in the navy because of my glass eye. So I joined the merchant navy, who allowed monocular crew if you worked in the kitchens. You're not wanted on deck or in the engine room with one eye, but you're good to fire up the ovens and cook hundreds of chops. "

" I had no idea when I graduated from high school and then from graduate school what I wanted to do with my life. I had no idea that I was ever going to be an actor. "

" I've been asked a few thousand times how much of Columbo is Falk and vice versa. "

" I never understood a word John Cassavetes said. And I think he did that deliberately. "

" In order to be totally spontaneous, you can't be too obsessed with accuracy, but if you're inaccurate in a drawing, it will look fake, and when you act, it will sound fake. You have to find miraculously some proper balance between the two, but there's no formula. "

" Actors know one thing: If you're left just with words, you're in trouble. "

" I was a street-guy villain. I was a street-corner villain. I was an illiterate villain. All rough edges. "

" Initially, they wanted Columbo to wear a driving coat. I said: 'Are you kidding? He's not an English aristocrat.' "

" There's a bit of a problem. The script that I like, the network doesn't like. The script that they like, I don't like. "

" Acting is like golf: analysis leads to paralysis. "

" I am older than everyone I ever knew. All my dogs are dead. Half a dozen cats, parakeets... all gone. "

" If your mind is at work, we're in danger of reproducing another cliche. If we can keep our minds out of it and our thoughts out of it, maybe we'll come up with something original. "

" Going to Hartford turned out to be the luckiest thing that ever happened to me. "

" I once did a film in Russia because I wanted to see what the hell was going on there. "

" My idea of Heaven is to wake up, have a good breakfast, and spend the rest of the day drawing. "

" I remember being amazed that actors had a union. I thought only coal miners had unions, or guys that worked in automobile plants. That's an indication of how naive I was. "

" To be totally sincere, I'd surely be a better actor today if I hadn't played Columbo all these years. "

" In the theater, you didn't have any marks. Your instincts in rehearsal told you what the blocking was. On film, they reversed it. They decided ahead of time what your instincts were, before you even arrived. "

" God didn't design anyone to be recognized by 2 billion people. "

" Your instincts for what's dramatic are the same whether you're working on a drawing or on a script. "

" If I'm a guy reading a newspaper, and I hear this actor who I know gets great seats at basketball games, and he's complaining about being typecast, I think, 'Hey man, count your blessings.' "

" I think people identify with Columbo because he is an average man. "

" I'm secretly very stuffy. "

" In the beginning, when you're acting in amateur theater and off-Broadway, it was unheard of that anyone else would get your costume. And it was important to get a good costume. You put time into that. "

" It helps an actor an awful lot when he looks like the part. There's nothing more disconcerting, that makes you more anxious or more insecure, than when you don't look like who you're supposed to be. "