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" I've been doing pranks my whole life, so I guess I'm pretty good at it. "

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" I'd say mostly I paint hot chicks. "

" These trees and these old people have one thing in common, they're both going in the ground soon! "

" Sometimes I wake up, I feel like, I'm like 80-years-old. "

" The neighbors could be as mad as they want, but I'm not running a business at the house. It's just a location. It will never get me out of here, because I don't have offices set up at my house, and that's what the township thinks. "

" I like geography. I could tell you the capital of any country you want. "

" I'm Bam Margera. And I feel like kicking my dad's butt all day today. "

" I don't like Paris so much. "

" I skate all the time, but it's silly for me to do contests when MTV is giving me a boatload of money. "

" Skateboarding teaches you how to take a fall properly. If you try to kickflip down some stairs, it might take you thirty tries - and you just learn how to take a tumble out of it without getting hurt. "

" Seeing people get messed up never gets un-funny! And there's plenty of ways to do that. "

" I just lost my best friend, I have been crying hysterical for a full day. "

" The way that I look at it is that, when we film for eight months straight for a new 'Jackass' movie, I know that I'm going to wind up with at least two broken bones. I don't know when it's going to happen, but you can't contemplate how you're going to fall and what's going to happen. "

" It's definitely weird, because pretty much everybody owns the Tony Hawk videogame. Just going over to people's houses and watching play me as I walk in - that's actually happened a few times and that's so weird. It's like, 'Dude, you're playing me right now.' It was too weird. "

" I'm a regular at a hospital in Pennsylvania. The Riddle Hospital in Media, Pennsylvania. "

" Life's philosophy, hm... I just say, 'Do what you do and have fun doing it and try not to be too miserable.' "

" It's kinda all about image. "

" My uncle is so funny - Don Vito. He was always fat with the craziest voice. Dude, he barely speaks English; it's just full-blown jibber-jabber. It's so funny to watch on TV because you really need subtitles because you can't understand him. "

" One time my mom tried to ground me, but that lasted 15 minutes. "

" Actually, I've always wanted to be a professional skateboarder ever since I was about six. "

" I got addicted to Tetris, playing it in my basement, I was missing all these airplane flights over it. After the fourth one that I missed, I realized I needed to get rid of this thing - so ever since then, I don't play video games any more. "

" I quit high school the first day of 10th grade because I felt like I was wasting time. "

" When you're drunk, you always think you're not. If you even drink at all don't get behind the wheel. "

" I'm on a lot of airplanes, so I just sip on red wine thinking of stupid ideas and, when I think of it, I wanna make it happen. "