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" Life is a full-contact sport, and there's a score up on the board. "

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" Food is a coping mechanism; people are afraid of giving it up because then they'll feel confused and lost. "

" I think you're running into a lot of trouble if your idea of foreplay is, 'Brace yourself honey, here I come!' "

" You don't need a pack of wild horses to learn how to make a sandwich. "

" Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you. "

" Take it from a guy: If you're in love with somebody, you will swim the stream, you will climb the mountain, you will slay the dragon. You're going to get to her somehow, some way. "

" A lot of people do have tragic childhoods. But you know what? Get over it. "

" You know, what we do know is that there is a high frequency of violence in the home of those who bully. "

" Oh, everybody wears a mask. We all put our best foot forward. We all try and make a statement, I'm not saying that's bad. "

" The truth is, I think we are a self-less society, not a selfish society. Because we're so busy now. "

" I grew up in athletics, where people keep score. "

" I think I've got the best staff in television. "

" Do you realize that you can't play the game of life with sweaty palms? "

" I'm one of those that believes you can't be one kind of a man and another kind of president. "

" When I was practicing psychology, I used to tell myself if I ever get to where I'm just doing this for the money or I'm just going through the motions, I'll quit. "

" You're only lonely if you're not there for you. "

" Parents need to dial in and know what their kids are doing. "

" Well, I'm not sure what pop psychology is, but I don't like it. "

" I mean, look, teachers don't do their job for the money, obviously, because we pay them ridiculously little amounts for what they put in. Most of them come out of their own pocket for materials and things to help the children and all that. "

" If I was on the air and was just kind of a plain-vanilla personality that took the safe road and the safe way trying to please all of the people all of the time, I'd been gone in two weeks. "

" People are used to being coddled. "

" I'm embarrassed every time I look a teacher in the eye, because we ask them to do so much for so little. "

" You don't need a rope to pinch a stranger's butt. "

" Nothing's funnier to me than laughing at myself. "

" We teach people how to treat us. "

" What I want people to do is what's healthy for them. "

" I have some wonderful friends from the Mideast that are as red, white and blue as anybody you know, that have been harassed, and I think it's a terrible, terrible thing. "

" You have got to decide, look, this is who I am; this is my best way to present myself, and I'm going to ride that horse to the finish line. Not everybody will like it, but that's OK. "

" I mean, I'm very, very competitive. "

" If you're trying to get out of debt, you have to be willing to treat everything as expendable. "

" There is nothing wrong with your marriage if you're dealing with bills and kids and the broken garbage disposal and in-laws and work demands. That's a normal marriage. "