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" Most people have no idea how to politely answer a phone. The English do, and it's been their only major business advantage for the past two centuries. "
Douglas Coupland
Two
Phone
Business
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" I have trouble with seafood because it tastes like a dock. "
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" You can never become rich unless you like rich people. "
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" I'm suspicious of places that look decorated. I can understand why people do it, but you see too many cushions or a piece of fabric hanging and it's, like, 'Ugh!' A good house with good art will always work, no matter what. "
Douglas Coupland
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" People will always choose more money over more sex. "
Douglas Coupland
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" Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value. "
Douglas Coupland
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Value
" Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them. "
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" I have to say, 'Pod' was a bon-bon, a treat to myself. A treat to write: a happy, pleasurable write. "
Douglas Coupland
Treat
Happy
Myself
" Unhappiness is something we are never taught about; we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive. "
Douglas Coupland
Plan
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" Some people think fashion is frivolous but it's not... it's just that some ideas come and go quickly, and that's the nature of the language of fashion. "
Douglas Coupland
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" I miss the silliness of the Nineties. What would society be like if 9/11 never happened? If that silliness was extended forever? "
Douglas Coupland
Society
Forever
Like
" Your body isn't just a body. It's an ecosystem. "
Douglas Coupland
Your Body
Body
Ecosystem
" Try not thinking of peeling an orange. Try not imagining the juice running down your fingers, the soft inner part of the peel. The smell. Try and you can't. The brain doesn't process negatives. "
Douglas Coupland
You
Thinking
Orange
" I think social and moral disengagement is repugnant. "
Douglas Coupland
I Think
Social
Repugnant
" Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life. "
Douglas Coupland
Most
People
Free
" I think half the people who get married now have met online. If I think about all the people in my life who married - they met online, online, online. And it makes sense if you think about it, because you fill out this form of 35 things that really define you and - bam - look, you've got two people who match. It works. "
Douglas Coupland
People
Life
Look
" Blame is just a lazy person's way of making sense of chaos. "
Douglas Coupland
Person
Blame
Chaos
" I was at Emily Carr College of Art and Design in Vancouver for four years, and I loved it. "
Douglas Coupland
Art
Years
Loved
" I'm not patient - and I'm getting more impatient as I get older - but I am disciplined about writing, and I want that on my tombstone: 'He wasn't patient, but he was disciplined.' "
Douglas Coupland
Want
Patient
More
" Earth was not built for six billion people all running around and being passionate about things. The world was built for about two million people foraging for roots and grubs. "
Douglas Coupland
People
Earth
Passionate
" You can get a subjective and highly factual dossier on most anyone in the public realm almost instantly. It's why publishers don't worry about author photos any more; people just Google a person and get on with things. "
Douglas Coupland
People
Google
You
" Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation. "
Douglas Coupland
Tickets
Desperation
Lottery
" Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo. "
Douglas Coupland
Eagles
Good
Hairdo
" When you crop the photo, you tell a lie. "
Douglas Coupland
Crop
You
Tell
" I miss my pre-Internet brain, but that doesn't help anything. We can only go forward. "
Douglas Coupland
Go
Anything
Brain
" I'm a visual thinker. Research tells us that only 20 per cent of people think visually. So what about the other 80 per cent? Don't they think in pictures? I mean if you imagine washing and preparing potatoes you visualise the process, right? "
Douglas Coupland
You
Think
Research
" I connect fashion to other peoples' elegance, but not my own. I don't think I've ever felt elegant. I've felt appropriate, but never elegant, and I wonder what that must be like. I like it when other people are elegant - I prefer it - but I can't do it myself. I honestly think it's some form of autistic disorder. "
Douglas Coupland
Think
Elegance
Fashion
" Headwise, I always kind of knew that everyone goes grey in our family very early - and I was like, it works for me. I started growing my beard, and it changes the shape of your skull and your face, and I started seeing my mother's side of the family in myself for the first time. "
Douglas Coupland
Face
Family
Me
" High school is such a shared experience in North American culture. "
Douglas Coupland
School
Culture
American
" As a form of escapism, yearning for the 20th century is understandable, but in practice it would be horrible - sort of like going on a holiday promising yourself you could go without the Internet, only to crumble and walk in a daze to the local Internet cafe to gorge on connectivity. "
Douglas Coupland
You
Yourself
Walk
" I get verklempt if I see a vintage TI-30 or TI-54 calculator. But I don't think I'd want to use one. "
Douglas Coupland
I See
Get
Want