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" Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life. "

Douglas Coupland

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" Your body isn't just a body. It's an ecosystem. "

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" I've never gone on Facebook or MySpace. "

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" Telling people they look relaxed makes them look relaxed. "

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" Thinking you're immortal is weirdly similar to being immortal. "

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" We're rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping. "

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" You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal. "

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" Salad bars are like a restaurant's lungs. They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the environment, leaving you with much cleaner air to enjoy. "

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" It's very strange that most people don't care if their knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations. "

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" My own experience with being interviewed is mixed. I suppose they're a part of my job, and as I would like readers to connect with my books, I do them. I've also made many lifelong friends whom I first encountered as interviewers - as a writer, they're a terrific way to meet and add smart new people to one's life. "

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" Given the infinite number of coincidences that could happen, very few ever actually do. The universe exists in a coincidence-hating state of anti-fluke. "

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" I'm not a hoarder, I'm a collector: if you have something you like, every time you see it, you have a little happy hit. "

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" Art was always my main focus; I fell into writing by accident in the 1980s, writing magazine articles to pay for my studio. I have to put myself into the position of writing; sometimes it doesn't work, and sometimes it works great. "

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" We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes. "

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" Never loan a book to someone if you expect to get it back. Loaning books is the same as giving them away. "

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" If God drives a car, He'd drive a 1973 Ford LTD Brougham sedan with a claret-colored vinyl roof, with oxblood leather upholstery and an opera window. "

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" Bespoke tailoring: yes! I found this one pair of pants - they're Canali - and brought them into a tailor and said, 'Clone these, dammit.' They just do all the right things. I've got eight pairs in different colors and I never have to think about pants again. The only look otherwise that suits me is, like, the Professor from 'Gilligan's Island.' "

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" Even when you take a holiday from technology, technology doesn't take a break from you. "

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" A ring is a halo on your finger. "

Douglas Coupland

" Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time. "

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" It's a cliche, but true, that writing is intensely solitary and at times really lonely. I sit in one room and talk to squirrels and blue jays all day. "

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" As a form of escapism, yearning for the 20th century is understandable, but in practice it would be horrible - sort of like going on a holiday promising yourself you could go without the Internet, only to crumble and walk in a daze to the local Internet cafe to gorge on connectivity. "

Douglas Coupland

" If you don't have a spiritual practice in place when times are good, you can't expect to suddenly develop one during a moment of crisis. "

Douglas Coupland

" Who wants to talk on the phone? If you want to talk to me, text me. Or if we must, let's meet in person. "

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" Make your goals big and broad enough so that they never become answered prayers and boomerang to curse you. "

Douglas Coupland

" It's weird when people start sentences with 'frankly' - as if their other sentences don't count. "

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" I've had maybe 20 jobs, big and small, and I've never hated any of them. At the same time, the moment the learning curve flattened, I was out of there. "

Douglas Coupland

" I'm pro-forwards. Do I want the Seventies to come back? No. The haircuts were terrible. Everyone stank. The food was awful. "

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" If I don't learn something new every year, I go crazy. "

Douglas Coupland

" Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky. "

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