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" Blame is just a lazy person's way of making sense of chaos. "

Douglas Coupland

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" Adventure without risk is Disneyland. "

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" You can't get mad at weather because weather's not about you. Apply that lesson to most other aspects of life. "

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" It's a cliche, but true, that writing is intensely solitary and at times really lonely. I sit in one room and talk to squirrels and blue jays all day. "

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" When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms, was he trading up or trading down? "

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" I'm not patient - and I'm getting more impatient as I get older - but I am disciplined about writing, and I want that on my tombstone: 'He wasn't patient, but he was disciplined.' "

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" A man in a bookstore buys a book on loneliness and every woman in the store hits on him. A woman buys a book on loneliness and the store clears out. "

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" If God drives a car, He'd drive a 1973 Ford LTD Brougham sedan with a claret-colored vinyl roof, with oxblood leather upholstery and an opera window. "

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" When I look at my daily schedule, I feel like a trout flopping about on a dock, drowning in the air. Some people are ruthless with their schedules. Not me. I wing it. "

Douglas Coupland

" I've never gone on Facebook or MySpace. "

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" People will always choose more money over more sex. "

Douglas Coupland

" Royalty is either going to do very well with cloning, or it's going to disappear completely. "

Douglas Coupland

" A ring is a halo on your finger. "

Douglas Coupland

" Whatever happened to books? Suddenly everybody's talking about these 100-hour movies called 'Breaking Bad'. People are talking about TV the same way they used to talk about novels back in the 1980s. I like to think I hang out with some pretty smart people, but all they talk about is 'Breaking Bad.' "

Douglas Coupland

" I miss the silliness of the Nineties. What would society be like if 9/11 never happened? If that silliness was extended forever? "

Douglas Coupland

" Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky. "

Douglas Coupland

" Human beings are the only animal that thinks they change who they are simply by moving to a different place. Birds migrate, but it's not quite the same thing. "

Douglas Coupland

" I worship teachers. They can't be paid enough. It depresses me that society sees them as somehow expendable. "

Douglas Coupland

" I've had maybe 20 jobs, big and small, and I've never hated any of them. At the same time, the moment the learning curve flattened, I was out of there. "

Douglas Coupland

" Books arrive in my head all at once, and then it becomes an 18-month process of getting it all down on paper. "

Douglas Coupland

" Salad bars are like a restaurant's lungs. They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the environment, leaving you with much cleaner air to enjoy. "

Douglas Coupland

" High school is such a shared experience in North American culture. "

Douglas Coupland

" No-tech tourism is a form of temporal eco-tourism in which one reads books or watches film and TV precisely because of the absence of 21st-century technologies. "

Douglas Coupland

" Once you establish a look, and once everybody recognizes that look as your look, you never have to think about fashion again. "

Douglas Coupland

" I'm not a hoarder, I'm a collector: if you have something you like, every time you see it, you have a little happy hit. "

Douglas Coupland

" Everyone should have a tailor. David Wilkes, the guy who does my stuff, is like, 'Well you're a writer - do you want a special pen compartment or something?' Bespoke: That's the term you want to get out there. "

Douglas Coupland

" With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless. "

Douglas Coupland

" Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It's like wanting the worst possible meat product without even the thrill of it actually being meat. "

Douglas Coupland

" Most people have no idea how to politely answer a phone. The English do, and it's been their only major business advantage for the past two centuries. "

Douglas Coupland

" When you write, it's just a much more crystalline, compressed version of the voice you think with - though not the one you speak with. I think your writing voice is your laser-guided missile. It's the poetry part of you. "

Douglas Coupland