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" My approach to parenting is that everything is open - everything. I'm not very good at covert, or subtle, and I've had to learn timing. I do blunder in a bit. "

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" The secret to success, to parenting, to life, is to not count up the cost. Don't focus on all the steps it will take. Don't stare into the abyss at the giant leap it will take. That view will keep you from taking the next small step. "

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" Any people whose lives are about the way they look, whether it's fat or thin, are in a dangerous area. "

" I am a kid in the dressing-up box at heart. "

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" I have turned away from the thought of writing fiction in the past through what I suppose is, actually, fear. The direct, raw invitation for the reader to come in and explore my imagination is fairly scary for me so I have busied myself with so much else. "

" I do think you are supposed to go through wars with your child because otherwise the tearing apart that has to happen when they go off to lead their own life would be unbearable. "

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" It was my father who taught me to value myself. He told me that I was uncommonly beautiful and that I was the most precious thing in his life. "

" We have to do a film parody for Comic Relief. We can't decide which film to parody at the moment. Any ideas welcome, but not Spiderman owing to costume being too tight. "

" My father was a farmer and my mother was a farmer, but, my childhood was very good. I am very grateful for my childhood, because it was full of gladness and good humanity. "

" Divorce is not easy, but if you genuinely put your kids first, that dictates the civility you should show each other. What example are you otherwise? "

" I keep my own personality in a cupboard under the stairs at home so that no one else can see it or nick it. "

" Evolving into a middle-aged person is quite interesting if we can understand what it means. I would like to think it meant being a bit sure of what I want. "

" Kids are fat because of lack of parenting. "

" Theatre outings are my favourite thing to spend money on. The most influential play I saw was 'Bent,' which starred Ian McKellen. And I loved the original performance of 'The Rocky Horror Show,' with Richard O'Brien and Tim Curry at the Royal Court, when I was about 15. "

" Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is not about letting go. It's about hanging on during a very bumpy ride. "

" The relation between parents and children is essentially based on teaching. "

" My daughter couldn't care less about me being famous. She finds it revolting and, like a lot of teenagers, is virtually allergic to me. That started at 12 and hasn't gone anywhere yet. "

" That's the awful thing about dating. Tight underwear. We would all like to be in a big bra and pants and when you are in a secure relationship you can do that. "

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" When I wrote 'Dear Fatty,' I realised that sitting and writing alone is an absolute joy. "

" The person I have admired the most in comedy terms would be Eric Morecambe, who is my total hero. "

" For me, whatever age or size I've been, I have rather liked myself. The shell is not the thing at all. "

" Let parents bequeath to their children not riches, but the spirit of reverence. "

" Turn up your radio. Watch lots of telly and eat loads of choc. Feel guilty. Stay up all night. Learn everything in six hours that has taken you two years to compile. That's how I did it. "

" The basic idea that incentives can be used to motivate behavior is a powerful one. It works for employees, and it has a clear place in parenting, as anyone who has tried to potty-train a recalcitrant toddler with sticker rewards knows. "

" Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. "

" Parenting now is a two-way relationship where you learn from each other. "

" Every cliche about kids is true; they grow up so quickly, you blink and they're gone, and you have to spend the time with them now. But that's a joy. "

" Writing has become my great joy - I simply love it. "

" In actual life I am a grumpy old bag. "

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" Why would I worry about getting older - what's to moan about? "

" Listen to the desires of your children. Encourage them and then give them the autonomy to make their own decision. "