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" We have to do a film parody for Comic Relief. We can't decide which film to parody at the moment. Any ideas welcome, but not Spiderman owing to costume being too tight. "

Dawn French

Ideas

Welcome

Film

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" Any people whose lives are about the way they look, whether it's fat or thin, are in a dangerous area. "

" I have had the unfortunate experience of having someone write an unauthorised biography of me. Half of it is lies and the other half is badly written. My feeling is that if I'm going to write my life story, I ought to have my life first. "

" I watch schlock telly. Like the 'Kardashians.' I love it. It's my guilty pleasure. "

" I'll always be a fat girl and I am happy with that. "

Dawn French

Fat

I Am Happy

" It was fantastic to work in Cornwall partly because my family live there so I was able to do lots of visiting and eat lots of cake. They live all over Cornwall and all over Devon. "

" I'm not a big drinking person and hardly ever have alcohol. Perhaps it's not sweet enough for my sweet tooth. "

" If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush. "

" Evolving into a middle-aged person is quite interesting if we can understand what it means. I would like to think it meant being a bit sure of what I want. "

" I think of myself now as a writer, although I wouldn't go as far as to say 'novelist' because that sounds like a Victorian person. "

Dawn French

Say

Person

" Why would I worry about getting older - what's to moan about? "

" The only time I did not know how to be, physically, was when I lost a lot of weight. That was the only time I didn't understand my body. "

" For me, whatever age or size I've been, I have rather liked myself. The shell is not the thing at all. "

" I love it when somebody makes me laugh - it's what attracts me to people. "

Dawn French

People

Laugh

" When I wrote 'Dear Fatty,' I realised that sitting and writing alone is an absolute joy. "

" I'd like to play a horse, many people think I already have. Either end of the horse would be fine. "

" I've never disliked myself, and my weight has had nothing to do with my self-esteem. "

" I don't know what the future holds, but I have to be confident about it. It's just the way I am. "

" I have turned away from the thought of writing fiction in the past through what I suppose is, actually, fear. The direct, raw invitation for the reader to come in and explore my imagination is fairly scary for me so I have busied myself with so much else. "

" I know what it's like to struggle for cash. When I went to drama school, I worked as a chambermaid to make ends meet. "

" My best friend is the most important girl, outside of family, to me. I met her when I went to college and we bonded immediately. I'd do anything for her at any time. We phone each other every day. "

" My daughter couldn't care less about me being famous. She finds it revolting and, like a lot of teenagers, is virtually allergic to me. That started at 12 and hasn't gone anywhere yet. "

" Turn up your radio. Watch lots of telly and eat loads of choc. Feel guilty. Stay up all night. Learn everything in six hours that has taken you two years to compile. That's how I did it. "

" That's the awful thing about dating. Tight underwear. We would all like to be in a big bra and pants and when you are in a secure relationship you can do that. "

Dawn French

Pants

Relationship

" I'm known among my friends for saying things I probably shouldn't sometimes, but I have to get things out in the air. "

" I keep my own personality in a cupboard under the stairs at home so that no one else can see it or nick it. "

" I never do any television without chocolate. That's my motto and I live by it. Quite often I write the scripts and I make sure there are chocolate scenes. Actually I'm a bit of a chocolate tart and will eat anything. It's amazing I'm so slim. "

" Why would anyone want to be called a size zero or even aspire to being a zero? I don't even understand the thinking behind it, let alone the practicalities. What is all that about? "

" It was my father who taught me to value myself. He told me that I was uncommonly beautiful and that I was the most precious thing in his life. "