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" Why would I worry about getting older - what's to moan about? "

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" I do think you are supposed to go through wars with your child because otherwise the tearing apart that has to happen when they go off to lead their own life would be unbearable. "

" I'm not a big drinking person and hardly ever have alcohol. Perhaps it's not sweet enough for my sweet tooth. "

" We have to do a film parody for Comic Relief. We can't decide which film to parody at the moment. Any ideas welcome, but not Spiderman owing to costume being too tight. "

" Writing has become my great joy - I simply love it. "

" My daughter couldn't care less about me being famous. She finds it revolting and, like a lot of teenagers, is virtually allergic to me. That started at 12 and hasn't gone anywhere yet. "

" That's the awful thing about dating. Tight underwear. We would all like to be in a big bra and pants and when you are in a secure relationship you can do that. "

" I watch schlock telly. Like the 'Kardashians.' I love it. It's my guilty pleasure. "

" I want to do something where I play Judi Dench's younger sister or daughter. "

" Evolving into a middle-aged person is quite interesting if we can understand what it means. I would like to think it meant being a bit sure of what I want. "

" I have turned away from the thought of writing fiction in the past through what I suppose is, actually, fear. The direct, raw invitation for the reader to come in and explore my imagination is fairly scary for me so I have busied myself with so much else. "

" I'm known among my friends for saying things I probably shouldn't sometimes, but I have to get things out in the air. "

" When I wrote 'Dear Fatty,' I realised that sitting and writing alone is an absolute joy. "

" I'm constantly astounded by how amazing women are. And as we go through all these different stages of life as long as you share them with others and say, 'Well, this is bloody weird', you can get through everything. "

" I've always loved kissing. We all do, don't we? "

" I've chosen to stay in a jolly place for most of my life, and that is a lot of who I am. "

" I'd like to play a horse, many people think I already have. Either end of the horse would be fine. "

" That's the weird thing about not being married - you can't get regular kissing; you can't be guaranteed of it, and that's a great shame. "

" If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush. "

" It was fantastic to work in Cornwall partly because my family live there so I was able to do lots of visiting and eat lots of cake. They live all over Cornwall and all over Devon. "

" I am a rubbish flirt. "

" Divorce is not easy, but if you genuinely put your kids first, that dictates the civility you should show each other. What example are you otherwise? "

" I've often said the most difficult things I have to say to people through humour. I can very quickly put someone in their place with it. But we all walk away unscathed because there's been some funnies around it, and I'll usually make sure that it comes back at me. "

" Turning 50 can be difficult, sometimes dangerous, for women. The danger is in that blip that can come from the fact that you become invisible, and if you're not careful and don't embrace that, it can trip you up and you lose confidence. "

" I am a kid in the dressing-up box at heart. "

" Turn up your radio. Watch lots of telly and eat loads of choc. Feel guilty. Stay up all night. Learn everything in six hours that has taken you two years to compile. That's how I did it. "

" I love it when somebody makes me laugh - it's what attracts me to people. "

" Young people need their own private places which mothers don't belong to, even if they want mother all around the edge of that. "

" In actual life I am a grumpy old bag. "

" The person I have admired the most in comedy terms would be Eric Morecambe, who is my total hero. "