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" My stepfather was a military man: he was in the Air Force. Reserve. You thought he'd seen front-line action, but he was stationed in Cleveland. "

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" There's this whole underground world of amateur television production. "

" I have a guy who does my hair. He's a car nut. And he was taking motorcycle lessons. And, what was my point? "

" The 'Tim And Eric' experience was very strange. "

" A great director is someone who makes you feel like you're moving forward. "

" It's more fun in a way to do ensemble scenes, where you know your background, you know the scene, but you can't prepare because someone else is going to say something that is going to lead you off. "

" Martin Landau in 'Crimes and Misdemeanors' - he gave me chills. "

" Christopher Guest, he'll call and say, 'We're doing this movie, and I'd like you to play _' and he gives you the character, then I always like to enlarge on the character. "

" I have great respect for the authorities. "

" I always loved comedy growing up - Bob Hope, Red Skelton and Danny Kaye. "

" I really enjoy working on 'Modern Family.' "

" I guess the essence of my comedy is to get into a very abnormal situation but act like it's normal. "

" I used to collect autographs outside of the old Cleveland Stadium. I can still remember everyone who took the time and spent a few minutes to make your day. That sticks with you. "

" My first improv was Second City in Chicago. Before that, I worked at - with a partner, doing comedy sketches. "

" When I started, there was a phase where I wanted to be a cowboy star. I didn't want to do deep, serious parts. "

" Comedy relieves you. A lot of times, we think we're the only people bothered by certain things. Then you hear a comic say, 'Don't you hate it when...' And it's, 'Oh, my God! Of course!' "

" I have always been more relaxed around comedy. "

" I think everyone has a door in their brain that says, 'Do not exit here.' If you go past it, you'll find all the dumb thoughts in there, all the stupid things that shouldn't be said. I've probably gone there more than anyone should in a given lifetime. "

" To a New Yorker, a 1948 Indians World Series baseball signed by the whole team might be worth only $200 to $300, but to a Clevelander like myself, it might be, like, $1,000 to $2,000. "

" I once was in a project. They were going to do a remake. Somebody started a rumor I wanted more money. I said, 'This is ridiculous. I'd kill for this project!' "

" It's such a pleasure to work in these movies, it's almost like it's not really happening. "

" I had just done a movie called 'How to Beat the High Cost of Living,' and it didn't get a good review. And the same people sent me the script for 'Airplane!' for the Robert Hays part. I read it, and there were a lot of plays on words, and I said, 'I don't like this kind of comedy.' "

" When you think about accountants, who would want to be an accountant? But, what would we do without accountants? Whether it's soldiers or garbage men or doctors, everyone has the thing that they love. "

" In most cities, it doesn't cost much to put your own show on a local access channel, so you get all sorts of strange stuff on the air. "

" I like to play the guy that has no self-awareness. "

" One of the great things about kids is they haven't heard a lot of the old jokes. You can get away with the corny ones. "

" How can we say any one actor's work was better than another's? "

" If you're not doing something right, you can feel it on stage, and if it isn't going well, the audience will tell you. A teacher can teach you sense memory and this and that, but until you get in front of an audience, you don't really feel it. "

" I first became interested in 'great moments' when I read about the famous Feller-to-Boudreau pickoff play in the 1948 World series. "

" If I have to play an obnoxious character, try to find a redeeming feature of him. The most obnoxious people in the world were people, and they had had a reason for doing what they did. So you try to find that and let the obnoxiousness come out. "

" It scared me to death to think about improv, but I got hired for a year at Second City in Chicago, which made me nervous, but I found I could improvise. Then I was in a group called the Ace Trucking Company, which we'd do, like, a half hour set of material, then open up for improvisation. "