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" I had just done a movie called 'How to Beat the High Cost of Living,' and it didn't get a good review. And the same people sent me the script for 'Airplane!' for the Robert Hays part. I read it, and there were a lot of plays on words, and I said, 'I don't like this kind of comedy.' "

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" I don't know why my lines that were cut from the film didn't make it onto the DVD. I have offered to go into the editing room with Christopher and work shoulder to shoulder with him to fit all my lines in. I think he thinks I'm kidding. I'm only trying to help. "

Fred Willard

Trying

Think

Know

" That's always a funny thing, when people think they're known for every little thing they ever did, and they're really not. "

" All America is familiar with the Yankee-Dodger-Giant trivia, but so many other teams had great moments. "

" I'll talk your ear off if you recognize me. "

" God bless Chris Guest... and I mean it sincerely. "

" I'd love to have Burt Reynolds' career. "

" I just look back, and I say, you know, Christopher Guest just raised my whole career to another level. "

" I have a guy who does my hair. He's a car nut. And he was taking motorcycle lessons. And, what was my point? "

" After working with Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie, and Jonathan Mangum, I said, 'I am never going to talk about improv again.' "

" I love to draw, although I wish I was better at it. "

" Comedy relieves you. A lot of times, we think we're the only people bothered by certain things. Then you hear a comic say, 'Don't you hate it when...' And it's, 'Oh, my God! Of course!' "

" I've never crossed over to be a big star. I'd like to be in a big $100 million movie, though. 'Cause I was in an 'Austin Powers,' I think I had two lines, and every once in a while, I get a check, a really nice check, for that movie. "

" Let me say this: I have said, any time, if it's Martin Mull, I will say yes. If it's Christopher Guest, I will say yes. "

" Tobe Hooper - he did my favorite horror movie, 'Texas Chain Saw Massacre.' It's still one of my favorite horror films. "

" I'll go in a minute to see a sketch show. "

Fred Willard

Show

See

" I've always wanted to be on a soap opera. "

" I always loved comedy growing up - Bob Hope, Red Skelton and Danny Kaye. "

Fred Willard

Growing Up

Comedy

" As an actor, and as you get to a certain level... and it's pilot season and you read the trades, you could have a nervous breakdown. 'So-and-so's signed for a pilot. Why aren't I?' "

" It's such a pleasure to work in these movies, it's almost like it's not really happening. "

" To a New Yorker, a 1948 Indians World Series baseball signed by the whole team might be worth only $200 to $300, but to a Clevelander like myself, it might be, like, $1,000 to $2,000. "

" It's more fun in a way to do ensemble scenes, where you know your background, you know the scene, but you can't prepare because someone else is going to say something that is going to lead you off. "

" I have great respect for the authorities. "

" I still think 'Texas Chain Saw Massacre' was what they call one of those watershed movies. That and 'The Exorcist' and 'Psycho' were just landmarks for those horror films. "

" I think everyone has a door in their brain that says, 'Do not exit here.' If you go past it, you'll find all the dumb thoughts in there, all the stupid things that shouldn't be said. I've probably gone there more than anyone should in a given lifetime. "

" I like the characters that have some redeeming quality or if it's interesting to me in any way. "

Fred Willard

Interesting

Way

" Martin Landau in 'Crimes and Misdemeanors' - he gave me chills. "

Fred Willard

Martin

Gave

" I am re-collecting the baseball cards my mom had thrown out when I went away to school. You know you are an adult when you can buy a whole set of baseball cards instead of two packs at a time. "

" Getting those parts in the Christopher Guest movies was the second biggest helper to my career after 'Fernwood.' "

" Everybody I run into goes, 'Hey, 'Best in Show!'' Or, 'Hey, that dog movie!' which I don't mind because I'm not too good on titles. "

" I loved Bob Hope and the way he would turn to the camera and break the fourth wall. "