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" To a New Yorker, a 1948 Indians World Series baseball signed by the whole team might be worth only $200 to $300, but to a Clevelander like myself, it might be, like, $1,000 to $2,000. "

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" I try to shy away from playing cranky people, but if it's just a funny next-door neighbor or business man, I'll say, 'Sure, why not?' "

Fred Willard

People

Neighbor

Man

" A great director is someone who makes you feel like you're moving forward. "

" Kids can relate to having some scary person living near their house. They can relate to, 'Hey, don't go near that house.' We all can. "

Fred Willard

Scary

Person

" Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. "

Fred Willard

Pirate

Got

" I like the characters that have some redeeming quality or if it's interesting to me in any way. "

Fred Willard

Interesting

Way

" Let me say this: I have said, any time, if it's Martin Mull, I will say yes. If it's Christopher Guest, I will say yes. "

" I once was in a project. They were going to do a remake. Somebody started a rumor I wanted more money. I said, 'This is ridiculous. I'd kill for this project!' "

Fred Willard

Project

Money

" Getting those parts in the Christopher Guest movies was the second biggest helper to my career after 'Fernwood.' "

" If you're going to take a risk as a comic, make sure it's surrounded by other things that you're certain are funny. "

" I did a show called 'Lois & Clark' - it was about Superman - years ago. They wanted someone to play the president of the United States. The plot was the president got kidnapped by a group, and they made a clone of him, who was very irresponsible and silly. "

" If I like a movie, I see no reason not to go back for Parts 2, 3, 4, etc. "

" I was an only child. "

" Someone I've always admired is Catherine O'Hara... I think she's one of the best actresses in the country, not only comedy. I just think she's just a step aside from everybody, she's just wonderful. "

" I don't know why my lines that were cut from the film didn't make it onto the DVD. I have offered to go into the editing room with Christopher and work shoulder to shoulder with him to fit all my lines in. I think he thinks I'm kidding. I'm only trying to help. "

" One of the first shows I ever did was 'Laverne & Shirley.' I played this sleazy guy that came into town with a friend and was going to date Laverne and Shirley, but we really wanted to get into the bowling alley because it was next to the bank we wanted to rob. "

" When you think about accountants, who would want to be an accountant? But, what would we do without accountants? Whether it's soldiers or garbage men or doctors, everyone has the thing that they love. "

" I am re-collecting the baseball cards my mom had thrown out when I went away to school. You know you are an adult when you can buy a whole set of baseball cards instead of two packs at a time. "

" Everybody I run into goes, 'Hey, 'Best in Show!'' Or, 'Hey, that dog movie!' which I don't mind because I'm not too good on titles. "

" One of the great things about kids is they haven't heard a lot of the old jokes. You can get away with the corny ones. "

" Cleveland is my hometown, and the Indians have a narrow but rich history. "

" The witch in 'Snow White' is a very scary image. "

" Because I started my career in improv, performing with Second City and the Ace Trucking Company, I always enjoy being in situations where - as an actor - you have to think fast & be light on your feet. "

" I saw the 'Wizard of Oz' recently and realized that, all my life, I thought they were real monkeys with wings. That's how scary that movie was for me. "

" It's such a pleasure to work in these movies, it's almost like it's not really happening. "

" I'll talk your ear off if you recognize me. "

" There's this whole underground world of amateur television production. "

" When we need a policeman, God bless 'em, they're there. But, if you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, everything seems suspicious. "

" I really enjoy working on 'Modern Family.' "

" I guess it's from going to Virginia Military Institute. I'm a good person to follow orders. "

Fred Willard

Person

Good Person

" After working with Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie, and Jonathan Mangum, I said, 'I am never going to talk about improv again.' "